Write Something Hard, Win Something Soft - Stab Mag

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Letty Mortensen paints the town rouge, not pink. Photo: Nate Leal

Write Something Hard, Win Something Soft

Got Stab Highway challenge ideas?

elsewhere // Jul 29, 2020
Words by Pedro Ramos
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Knee-paddling toward me, an Australian lifeguard — at a beach made world-famous just for their “rescues” — had a proper go at me for riding a pointy thruster “between the flags” during a busy summer day.

Flags?

It wasn’t until I was berated by the chiseled man in tiny swimming attire, jaw square and full of teeth white as freshly fallen snow, that I began to consider giving a soft-top a go.

While many relationships have been sunk by hard-edged thrusters, soft tops may actually help keep them afloat. Letty Mortensen and ami in Hossegor. Photo: Jon Bakio

I was lucky enough to find one in the basement of my shared house, left behind by a previous tenant. I took it out right “between the flags” and into a very fun rip bowl. But once again, I managed to attract the attention of another large Australian man, who just looked at me and said, “Mate, your board is pink!” His lower lip curled in disgust.

It was, in fact, pink. Guess you can’t win, can you?

Well, turns out you can. Read on to find out how…

No grump has ever been seen holding a soft top. Maud Le Car, post-surf grin in Biarritz.

The most astute listeners of The Drop have probably figured out by now where the rolling degeneracy of Stab Highway will take place next. Starting off in the state that birthed a GOAT and driving over 1,000 miles north to the heart of Gotham for the final challenge, our 2024 teams will be hitting the Eastern Seaboard soon.

Some challenges are now part of the furniture, and we couldn’t find it in our hearts to toss them. But with new territory comes a world of possibility, and as much as we relish conjuring challenges that test our contestants’ athletic ability and emotional endurance, we’d love to hear your ideas too.

The ultimate acid-drop board? William Aliotti storms Capbreton.
Photo: Jon Bakio

Our friends at Softdogsurf will be giving away one of their boards, which have been tried, tested, and endured 10 days of some of the most demanding of the 120 challenges in Stab Highway Europe.
All we’re asking is that you summon that inner degenerate and submit challenges that may (or may not) make it into our 2024 Stab Highway Booklet.

No strings attached — the board is yours to acid drop off bunkers, ride ferry waves on, bomb hills, surf waveless river mouths, paddle-battle your friends, meet half-naked strangers; have at it. No hair set on fire, no wearing speedos for a week, nor subsisting on clam chowder for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner for days on end.

This is a judgment-free area. Photo: Guilherme Martins

Oh, and we’re throwing in a Premium subscription with that, which you’ll need to watch the new season of Stab Highway in its entirety.


Re-watch:

Stab Highway Europe presented by Monster Energy

Stab Highway California presented by Monster Energy

Stab Highway Australia presented by Monster Energy

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