The Drop: "It Cheese-Grated My Whole Face And Eye Socket." - Stab Mag

Now Live: Ferrari Boyz With Harry Bryant (Redux)

Parker rushed to Miami to undergo emergency surgery. We trust our favorite Cyclops will be back in action soon, with 20/20 vision. Photo: Jason "Mini" Blanchard

The Drop: “It Cheese-Grated My Whole Face And Eye Socket.”

Parker Coffin talks us through his second near-death experience on the Pod.

elsewhere // Dec 19, 2022
Words by Christian Bowcutt
Reading Time: 2 minutes

“Everybody sees all this content coming out 24/7 but they don’t see this,” says Parker Coffin on this week’s episode of The Drop. “You put your life on the line every time. It’s not for everyone and people need to know that.”

If you treasure your eyeballs, there are less risky activities to participate in than surfing. We ride pointy boards, screw blades to the bottom of them, stand just a few feet above jagged reef, and end up looking perpetually stoned from glare-induced Pterygium (Surfer’s Eye).

On this week’s pod, Parker explains his recent wrestle with the reef at Soup Bowl. He also talks about the danger of picture-perfect “content” that makes the deadly look daft — encouraging people to take risks they aren’t ready for. “I’ve been surfing my whole life, and this still happened…and this won’t be my last near-death experience” he said.

Mikey and Buck also discuss:
– The Vans Pipe Masters Finally Kicks Off. (4:30)
– It’s Red Bull vs. WSL in the wave measurement arms race. (8:00)
– What fins should you be riding? (18:15)
– Parker Coffin’s harrowing wipeout tale. (22:00)
– WSL e-mail leaked: “no hats for you”. (29:45)
– A surf sin (45:00)

Pay special attention to that penultimate point — is the WSL having their “Dr. Evil” moment? In a leaked email that Stab procured through Austin Powers-esque means, the WSL announced the following: “No wearing hats and holding bottle/cans with brands that are not sponsors of the WSL on the award podium.” This proposed action practically forces companies like Monster or Red Bull to sponsor the WSL forever to ensure brand exposure during surfing’s most prized moments. Genius? Malicious? Savvy? Devious? All of the above.

Fill your cranium with The Drop wherever you get your podcasts (Apple, Spotify, Soundcloud).

POV: you’re in a WSL boardroom meeting filled with KPMG consultants.


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