Man Develops Unexplainable Lumps After Surfing - Stab Mag

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Man Develops Unexplainable Lumps After Surfing

Says “Fuck it” and paddles out for 35 more years.

elsewhere // Jul 8, 2021
Words by Jack Mutschler
Reading Time: < 1 minute

Surfing is addicting.

It messes with our heads and temporarily alters reality as we know it. Oftentimes, in our two-hour sessions of delusion, we ignore things that normally would bother us. We suddenly don’t mind the hassle of clawing into a neoprene gimp suit. The sensation of almost drowning becomes a routine, and if you’re Bruno, you ignore the two massive lumps in your chest for decades.

Bruno is a Portuguese surfer that currently resides in Santa Barbara. He started surfing in Lisbon around the age of eight, and soon after, he began noticing two mysterious lumps on his chest. Since doctors could never identify what the large masses we’re, Bruno just kept surfing, for 35 years.

Today, he’s consulted Drs. Terry Dubrow and Paul Nassif of the allegedly (don’t have cable, couldn’t tell ya) hit show Botched to finally figure out why every board in his quiver has matching pressure dings.

Full story here.

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