Need Content Your Older Relatives Will Find Repugnant? - Stab Mag

Now Unlocked: Chippa Wilson Stars In "Zipper"

598 Views

Need Content Your Older Relatives Will Find Repugnant?

Click or Miss Vol. 3.

cinema // Dec 11, 2020
Words by Zack Raffin
Reading Time: 3 minutes

The closest thing your parents had to a vlog was an auto-biography. 

Or (for our teenage audience) a Quentin Tarantino cameo. Either way, both of these are a far cry from today’s vlogs, of which surfing’s youth show you everything but their bathroom breaks. 

With many watering holes closed and your older relatives still at risk of COVID-19, no doubt some of our American reader’s are suffering through long, arduous dinner table convos this Thanksgiving break. Without the respite of the time honored excuse of ‘grabbing a drink’, what’s one to do to get their 50+ year old relatives off their back? 

A quick two step solution:

1. Put on a vlog

2. Hit play

Like a lion through a herd of gazelle, you’ll be amazed how fast they scatter. 

Will N.Flo Ever Take A Vacation?

Stats 

Channel Subs: 98.5k

Video Views: 77,044 (19,261 views/day)

Like/Dislike Ratio: 2,687/28 or 95.9 likes for every 1 dislike

Nathan Florence tied the knot this week with longtime girlfriend Mahina Garcia. Between Thanksgiving and the wedding, the Florence family’s week has been overwhelmed with joyous times (and all the house guests that come with it). Not one to pass up a good video op, N.Flo finds the time to teach Father Florence to surf, who of course gets up first try.

Mason Over Sand!

Stats 

Channel Subs: 41.2k

Video Views: 9,279 (posted today)

Like/Dislike Ratio: 441/6 or 73.5 likes for every 1 dislike

Mason’s sadistic love of dry reef is something we’ve all come to know and love. Mase gives our anxiety a break with a Ho & Pringle that is actually over sand. Watch as he and Sheldon try to find a diamond in the rough at one of the North Shore’s rare, ever fleeting sand bars. No dings!

“The Risk Is A Lot Higher Than The Reward”

Stats 

Channel Subs: 98.5k

Video Views: 30,060 (10,020 views/day)

Like/Dislike Ratio: 451/17 or 26.5 likes for every 1 dislike

With Portugal on what Nic described as “an insane run of swell” and the Nazare surf ban still in full effect, the boys have had a hard time getting their adrenaline fix. Finally fed up, Von Froth does the equivalent of taking a slammer to the forearm, strapping on his helmet and paddling out to The Cave. One of the worlds most difficult barrels to navigate forehand, Nic manages to thread one on his backside. Judge away, but deep down you know you’d be claiming that one too. https://www.youtube.com/embed/fTOBYJe1n_w?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1

“Did you get the clip?!?”

Stats 

Channel Subs: 8.73k

Video Views: 20,213 (5,053 views/day)

Like/Dislike Ratio: 910/5 or 182 likes for every 1 dislike

With the way this year has gone it would be easy to forget that Leo Fiorvanti and Mikey Wright were slated to ‘surf off’ for the final spot on the 2020 tour. While many things have changed, this showdown is still on, with the first of three head to head matchups beginning with Pipe (followed by Sunset and Steamer Lane). With Mikey winning the WSL’s specialty event at Straddie and Leo landing stuff like the roter at 9:48 we should all be excited to watch this story unfold. 

PS: No one but Leo can pull these off and without looking like a massive tool. 

An Ode To Hawaiian Power Surfing

Stats 

Channel Subs: 5.99k

Video Views: 1,020 (posted today)

Like/Dislike Ratio: 102/2 or 51 likes for every 1 dislike

The final slot this week was a toss up between the above and Ep.18 of Lakey Peterson’s vlog, which took on a ‘Day In The Life’ format. Wanting to diversify the offering, I was about to include Lakey, that is until Zeke Lau pulled a Dane Kealoha inspired fishbeard from his quiver. Kealoha pioneered twin fin power surfing in the early 80’s at Backdoor and we can’t think of anyone more apt to pay him homage than Zeke. If you’re on the North Shore and see what looks like a roadside McDonalds under demolition it’s all but guaranteed that Zekes out there, which means it’s probably a good thing that you’re on the beach.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Erin Brooks And Mikey McDonagh Summit Freshly Spawned Mountain Of Challenger Series Rankings

Perfect 10s, phallic polyurethane, and numerous benthic vortexes marked the Bonsoy Gold Coast Pro.

May 4, 2024

Paul Fisher Resurrects Iconic Dick Board, Inadvertently Saves The WSL

Surfing's gone soft? Take this blue pill.

May 3, 2024

2 Australian Surfers, 1 American Still Missing In Baja California, Mexico

Three suspects have been arrested, a truck was found burned, but the friends remain "missing".

May 2, 2024

Zipper Offcut: A Pacific Island Micro-Wedge

Chippa, Harry, Dion, a hazardous ramp, and a near fiberglass-vasectomy.

May 2, 2024

UNLOCKED: Chippa Wilson Stars In ‘Zipper’ — A Surf Film By Stab & Monster

Featuring Filipe Toledo, Harry Bryant, Bobby Martinez, Eithan Osborne, Taro Watanabe, and Dion Agius.

May 2, 2024

Is Nat Young’s 4.03 A Symbol Of Surf Judging Demise, Or A Harmless Scoring Aberration?

World champs, super coaches, WSL commentators and more sound off on the state of surf…

May 1, 2024

How Stretch And Nathan Fletcher SpaceX’d Surfboard Design Into The Future

“I brought the boards to Hawaii and everybody laughed at me. Everyone except Michael Ho…

Apr 30, 2024

Doug Silva Is The Skullet-Locked 12x World Party Champ Working Wonders For Seth Moniz’s Tour Trajectory

Here's how he uses EDM + storytelling to snap talent into 'infected alligators'.

Apr 30, 2024

Marti Paradisis On The New Shipsterns Safety Initiative + The Laziness Of Bandwagoning Swell Carnivals

Before calling Shipsterns Bluff and getting flexed, read this. 

Apr 28, 2024

Full Frame: A 15-Minute, One-Wave Pipe Session

"Oh shit, that was kind of nuts, I think I think I'm just gonna go…

Apr 27, 2024

Want Half-A-Brain? Keep Calling Helmets Lame

Kai Lenny surfs hideous Jaws + Mavs + Waimea, joins esteemed list of surfers to…

Apr 27, 2024

80 Men And 48 Women Enter The CS Gauntlet — Only 15 Will Survive

Your 2024 Challenger Series x Gold Coast Pro preview.

Apr 26, 2024

The Best Surfing I’ve Ever Seen: Nate Lawrence

Kolohe, Cola Bros, Luke Davis, Crane, and "the most magical 3 weeks ever had in…

Apr 25, 2024

Snapper To Return To The CT In 2025(!) + WSL Announces Season Wildcards

Next year is looking up. Here's what we know...

Apr 25, 2024

Kelly Slater Will Surf In Tahiti And Fiji CT Events — And He’s Bringing A Secret Weapon With Him

What's it like to coach an 11x champ? We asked Glenn "Micro" Hall.

Apr 24, 2024

Watch: A Masterclass In Belated Drops At The Teepee Capital Of The World

And the rest of the O’Neill team sticks the landing in Hawaii.

Apr 24, 2024

How Sophie McCulloch Broke Her Back At The Box Three Days After Being Cut From The CT

The untold brutal side story of finals day in WA.

Apr 24, 2024

The Cut Wasn’t The Surf Fans’ Idea — But It Might Be Our Fault

Psychoanalyzing surfing’s highly sadistic audience (us!).

Apr 23, 2024
Advertisement