Here’s Our Very Best Attempt At Calculating World Title Scenarios

On our Portugal wrap-up post, one commenter made a comically astute observation. Stoner, referencing Ashton’s earlier words, said: “While we’re still tabulating the scenarios,” which really means…. “While we’re waiting for someone else to post the scenarios because we can’t count.” And if that wasn’t so hilariously valid, it might have stung a little. The truth is that no one at Stab, besides maybe our savvy leader Sammy Mac, would know their asymptotes from their ellipses.

We are writers; filmers; designers; artists! And numbers, even in their simplest form, are rarely understood by those who choose cultural experiences over cold hard cash. 

But I promise you, readers, that I really did try to get this math right. I even drew little diagrams, pie charts, used a TI-89 calculator and everything!

With one contest remaining, here is what will need to happen for any of the four remaining WT contenders (John, Gabby, Jordy, Julian) to win the Title. 

The Dark Lord has returned once more. Photo: WSL/Poullenot

– If John makes the final at Pipe: he wins the title. 

– If John places 3rd or 5th: Medina can win the title with a Pipe Masters victory. 

– If John places 9th: Medina can win with a 2nd or better. Jordy can also win with a Pipe Masters victory, assuming Gabby doesn’t place 2nd or better. 

– If John places 13th or 25th: Medina can win with a 5th or better. Jordy can also win with a 2nd or better, assuming Gabby doesn’t place 3rd or better. Julian can also win with a Pipe Masters victory, assuming Gabby doesn’t place 5th or better and Jordy doesn’t place 2nd or better. 

Essentially, the title is still John’s to lose, but with a strangely mediocre history at the Pipe Masters and a rampaging Medina hot on his heels, rest assured John will have an uneasy 43 days in the lead-up to this event. Heavy lies the crown. 

Aaaand now feel free to blast my mathematical blunders in the comments…