Stab Magazine | The Joy of Sex, with Dion Agius
642 Views

The Joy of Sex, with Dion Agius

. This is a sequence of Dion from Vietnam that drifted off the cover of last issue and into the black hole of a hard-drive. It is resurrected here as pictorial evidence of Dion’s athleticism. Photos: D.Hump First time: I was a late bloomer. My friends were getting laid at 15 but I didn’t hump […]

style // Mar 8, 2016
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

. This is a sequence of Dion from Vietnam that drifted off the cover of last issue and into the black hole of a hard-drive. It is resurrected here as pictorial evidence of Dion’s athleticism. Photos: D.Hump

First time:
I was a late bloomer. My friends were getting laid at 15 but I didn’t hump until I was 17. I had a girlfriend and when we finally did it. I went pretty mad first time around, I surprised myself. My first time was my best-ever performance. I’ve been getting progressively worse each root since.

Visual stimuli: 
I recently broke my foot so I’m out of the water and to kill the time I’ve been getting into some adult film. I get my gear off the net. My favourite site is redtube. On redtube you get quality daily uploads, girls from all over the world, great lesbian action and wild orgies. Real quality stuff.

Wet dreams:
I got em quite a bit when I was a kid but I don’t have them much anymore, maybe because I beat off too much. I don’t miss em, they’re messy and even in my dreams I was average at intercourse.

“I’m not into erotic asphyxiation. One minute she could be telling you to choke her out, next minute she could be down the cop shop telling them she’s been assaulted. I’ll pull at their hair if they ask me too but I don’t strangle em.”


Dirty talk:

I’ll tell her if I’m going to blow or if she’s doing something that feels really good but I’m pretty quiet when making love. I’ve got one mate that is the crazy man groaner. When he’s in bed with a chick he makes noises like a seal trying to give birth. When I was younger I got scared if a girl talked dirty to me but now that I’ve grown older, wiser, and a little creepier, it’s totally groovy.

Style:
K9 fa’sure.

Older woman:
I’ve been psyched on the older ladies lately but I’m 23 and going bald so I don’t really have any choice. The oldest woman I’ve been with was 36. It was in Miami a couple of years ago. She was extremely sexual and knew what she wanted and how to get it.

Pubes or no pubes:
I can’t stand bush. Why does hair even grow there? It serves no purpose. It’s not like the barney is gonna get cold without it. Whip it off!

Contraception:
The good old franger or I’ll eject and squirt. But you gotta use doms on the Gold Coast because it’s such a cess pit and everyone sleeps with everyone.

Threesomes:
I had two girls once. It was probably the greatest day of my life. There’s so many more options with a second woman in the mix, it’s almost confusing. I was like, “Where do I put it?” The morning after I couldn’t get rid of the girls fast enough because I wanted to get to the beach to tell the boys. Looking back now I should have stayed in bed for a few more rounds.

Erotic Asphyxiation:
Nah, not into it. One minute she could be telling you to choke her out, next minute she could be down the cop shop telling them she’s been assaulted. I’ll pull at their hair if they ask me too but I don’t strangle em.

Toys:
Toys are awesome, not for me but for her. If a girl wants to muck about on herself with a dildo or something before we get busy I’m cool with it.

Augmented Breasts:
I’m a big boob fan, they’re important. Fake cans are cool, great natural tits are better but no boobs kinda suck. As long as there’s something to hold onto I’m thrilled.

The ass:
I’m not particularly keen on anal. I don’t push for it but if it’s offered I’ll oblige although, on balance, I prefer to give than receive.

Best time for sex:
My favourite time to mate is the morning after a bit of a night out when you’re a little hung over. Ultimately there’s a little rain falling outside and we start out with a bit of a snuggle and kiss before going completely mad and getting all sweaty. Then you roll off each other for a sleep and go at it again later. Grouse!

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

24:32

Sharing Tubes And Hummus In The Middle East’s Surfing Jewel: Israel

No Contest does Tel Aviv!

Nov 29, 2022

4:18

Joao Chianca Wants A Pipeline Rematch With JJF

And ain't afraid to ride more foam to do it in the Vans Pipe Masters.

Nov 29, 2022

An Unorthodox Marriage Of Science And Surf

Cliff Kapono and The Mega Lab are changing stereotypes on all fronts.

Nov 28, 2022

5:07

Harry Bryant Dumps Crutches, Visualizes Pipeline Pits After Snapping Leg

“For once in my life, I’m taking something a bit more serious."

Nov 27, 2022

What If You Bought This Sumatran Surf Camp For $690k?

Making a blue print out of surfing's most recurring day dream.

Nov 27, 2022

Sierra Kerr On Greasing Full Rotes, Making Dad Cry & Her Concussion @ VSHPBME 

'I haven’t got my license yet, but I'm thinking of buying a little truck.'

Nov 27, 2022

4:25

“There Definitely Needs To Be More Girls That Try Airs”

Caity Simmers' thoughts on her Vans Pipe Masters debut.

Nov 26, 2022

Preview: Who’s John John Florence Flushing Down The Haleiwa Toilet Bowl?

The final event of the CS schedule is almost upon us. Let's dissect.

Nov 25, 2022

25:17

Dane Reynolds Said These Clips Weren’t Good Enough

Could'a fooled us.

Nov 25, 2022

Watch Now: Kael Walsh, Rolo Montes, And Al Cleland Jr In ‘Saturn’

Quik’s new 20-minute surf film is so good you’ll want to burn a DVD of…

Nov 24, 2022

27:45

How A Magic Island Birthed One Of The Most Radical Surf And Skate Scenes In The World

Mateus Herdy, Pedro Barros and friends in Red Bull x Stab's No Contest, Brazil.

Nov 23, 2022

The Uber Driver Turned Crypto Millionaire Who Denounced His US Citizenship And Whips Into XXL Nazare

"I do what I want, I don't have a boss." -Toby Trouble

Nov 23, 2022

3:36

‘I Thought He Was Gonna Grab A Machete… Then He Picked Up A Rock’

2x SSOTY Jai Glindeman’s drama (& left-tube) filled Sumbawa trip.

Nov 23, 2022

3:34

“The Inside Of Pipeline Sounds Like The Center Of The Universe”

Tosh Tudor seeks solitude at the Vans Pipe Masters.

Nov 22, 2022

Is Rasta Rob Really Going To Ride His Beloved Stock Dims Rad Ripper At The Vans Pipe Masters?

An interview with the most rapidly ascended surfer in recent memory.

Nov 22, 2022

Sierra Kerr And Robbie McCormick Win Vans Stab High Indonesia Presented By Monster Energy

And we had a live premiere in Oceanside to celebrate.

Nov 22, 2022

The Stab Guide To The World Cup

Including which team bears most similarities to former CT surfer Ricky "Ricky Badness" Basnett.

Nov 21, 2022

Unlocked: Albee Layer Speaks His Mind In His SEOTY Entry, ‘Delirium’

Come for the double rotations, stay for Albee's existential thoughts on surfing and life.

Nov 20, 2022
Advertisement