Stab Magazine | The 2017 Annual Kookslams Awards

The 2017 Annual Kookslams Awards

The kind of trophy you don’t want on your mantelpiece.

style // Jan 3, 2018
Words by Stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

It was a little under a year ago now that we made a conscious decision to dismount from the @kookslams bandwagon. That didn’t mean that we hit block and avoided the explore page on Instagram. No, we decided that we’d stick to doing what we do best on the world’s most vain application and leave the rock stumbling, the flailing beginner fails, flowrider falls and assorted ridiculous behaviour sharing to those that do it best. With 900k sets of eyes hanging on every post, the mysterious account (we haven’t had a name revealed to us yet), continues to dominate the wipeout world of social media.

Last year we revealed the winners of our very first Kookslams awards, a chance to celebrate human failure through a different lens. Now, it’s back and just as thrilling. So without further ado, here are the Kookslams Awards of 2017, all hail the low brow genius behind your favourite Instagram account – second to @stab, of course.

Best Lead Actor/Actress

The lead actor or actress must have an innate ability to entertain. With or without alcohol flowing through his veins, this young gent’s regime has our heads spinning. Guess this is how people die?

Best Rock Performance

Extra points awarded here for not succumbing to peer pressure in his pursuit of kookslams stardom, instead clinging onto his pal and hoping for a miracle.

Best Score

What a song, what a kicker! Thoughts and prayers go to the family and friends of our frog-legged boogey friend.

Best Supporting Actor/Actress

The award in this instance goes to our friend in the rash vest, for his patience, his ability to ‘get on with the job’ and for his spectacular undoing.

Best Costume Design

Not sure if Halloween, or a Sunday morning down at the local? Either way, the sun ain’t messin’ with this responsible fellow.

Best Stuntwork

The stunt biz is a dangerous game to play. Whether you’re zen AF or just another Instagram poser, you’ll get yours.

Best New Talent

The Scorpion-to-esophagus-exfoliation is one hell of a way to win a kookslams award. Bravo to you, young grasshopper. We wish you a long life, filled with tiny granules of shell, rock and assorted calcium carbonates.


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