Don't let the chainlink collars fool you, these dogs are just fricken' adorbs! Photo by JENNIFER STENGLEIN
Which CT Surfers Have Been Filing Complaints About Mikey Wright?
Gossip Girl: Let's Play Cards Gone Wild!
Immigration. Guns. Wildcards into the World Surf League’s Championship Tour events.
These are three very important topics of debate in the political climate of today’s world.
This article will choose to focus on the third.
The WSL recently announced that Mikey Wright was awarded a wildcard into the 2018 J-Bay Open, which starts next week. We shared the news via a clip on our Instagram and it inspired over 250 comments, the majority of which were arguments either for or against Mikey’s wildcard.
Let’s have a look at the complaints and praises of the plebeian handles.
“If he’s getting good results on the CT isn’t that saying something ?? The beast belongs on tour where he should be. Good luck at Jbay champ @mikeywright1” [email protected]
“Mikey Wright is one of the only reasons I watch pro surfing. He’s breathing new life into a tired paradigm” [email protected]_kilponen
“Mikey is currently sitting at #7 in the world. Hahaha the guy is kicking the veterans asses. He belongs on tour regardless of his mullet or his last name.” [email protected]
“@mikeywright1 baby of WSL” [email protected]
“Variation on wild cards should be a must in wsl rules!! Fucking bullshit!!” [email protected]_man
“More like red carpeted up in a @wsl limo....pass obsolete QS and go straight to CT!!!
As Mikey noted yesterday, the debate/black hole had enough gravity to suck Kelly Slater in, as he replied to one comment with this dose of truth.
“...I’ve always felt if a guy can continually beat tour surfers on their tour they have a valid place in being there. That’s what the whole purpose is anyway. Mikey’s already proven his worth and validity being there even without having done proper qualifications. I don’t care who it is, if they can win that many heats they’ve obviously got a place at the table and it’s not a handout. Good on him. The majority of QS qualifiers are one and done as it is. He’s holding qualifying spot already probably for the year on the ct and making it through the qs. A lot of firsts there.”
However, it seems as though Kelly’s sentiment isn’t echoed by fellow CT surfers.
Rumors have swirled, that Mikey’s seemingly permanent wildcard status has been met with official complaints to the WSL Commissioner's Office from several vexed 'CTers. We reached out to the League for a comment, but their response was anything but juicy.
So instead of weezin' the juice, let’s crunch numbers!
We took the liberty of setting odds for which CT surfers are most likely to be complaining about Mikey.
Gabriel Medina - 2:1
Knocked out by Mikey on the Gold Coast and at Uluwatu. Plus, he isn’t not emotional.
John John Florence - 3:1
Knocked out by Mikey on the Gold Coast and got beat by him in in Round 1 in Brazil.
Sophie Goldschmidt - 5:1
She ruins everything.
Julian Wilson - 7.5:1
Knocked out by Mikey at Keramas and is rumored to enjoy success.
Kelly Slater - 9:1
The ultimate conspiracy theory.
Carl Wright - 20:1
Another wildcard, he lost in Round 2 at Bells. Complaint based on being the wrong Wright.
Adriano de Souza - 500:1
Most likely prays for the chance to compete against him or any other surfer that has ever existed.
Owen Wright - 75000:1
Ha! You think Owen doesn’t want to surf with his brother on the CT?
Mikey is ranked 7th on the CT right now. With a big result at J-Bay, he could earn a full-time spot on the 2019 Tour without surfing another event.
That said, you could safely assume he’ll at least get the nod for the Quiksilver Pro France in October.
Not to mention, he’s still 3rd on the QS and already made his first heat at the Prime event in Ballito.
Which is to say: the CT should just get used to him.
As God once said, complaining will get you far but a good fucking turn will get you further. [Johnny Boy Gomes, 4:14]