@kookslams Present 7 Awards You Don’t Want To Win

Ah, the human struggle, such a mesmerising phenomenon to witness! For those who are yet to indulge in the wild and wonderful Insta-world of @kookslams, think Funniest Home Videos meets the wipeout section from the back end of a nineties surf video tape. Their page, bound with unsuspecting beachgoers falling from grace, is known to illicit laughing out loud that can disturb those in the immediate vicinity, and they have the following to prove it.

As much as Stab loves to dabble in the sharing of similarly hilarious and painful content, we thought we’d celebrate the honorable curators of fail (and their ill-fated cast) with an awards ceremony of the digital kind. So without further ado, here are the inaugural Kookslams Awards, presented by the mysterious genius behind your favourite Instagram account – second to @stab of course:

Best Lead Actor/Actress

Best Actor/Actress always goes to someone in the best film… and in this case its no different. I don’t think there has ever been more glory packed into one clip. We still have so many questions as to what exactly is going on here, but the fact that this dude seems to just completely give up on life and let the ocean do its bidding with him makes it an all-time great. 

*      *      *

Best Rock Performance

A dolled up girl posing on a rock she has no business being on… some Kookslams moments just write themselves.

*      *      *

Best Score

The amount of hang time this kid gets was enough to shock a nation. Not only did this grom take flight on an unbelievably epic level, he lands right back onto his beater and folds like a cheap suitcase. Seemed only right to match it with an epic universe turning soundtrack. (M83). Catchsurf actually ended up sending this kid a free board because of this clip. We were stoked for him, he clearly earned it.

*      *      *

Best Supporting Actor/Actress

A “Supporting Actor” award in a kookslams video is exactly opposite of anything supportive… I don’t know what kind of permit you need to ride a jetski, but based off this clip, the process probably needs a re-visit or two. 

*      *      *

Best Costume Design

Not all heroes wear capes. In fact, this hero simply went with a white crew tee shirt and stole our hearts immediately. Him flailing off the pier and landing straight back onto his board is just the icing on the cake.

*      *      *

Best Stuntwork

I can neither confirm nor deny what ended up happening to this kid. The only thing that I know is that he lived. Somehow. #weneedanewstuntman

*      *      *

Best New Talent

It’s not every day you get a clip come across your desk that is of this caliber. We refer to these as Kookslams classics. Taking one to the beach, proned on a soft top at a high speed… We expect great things from this girl… or maybe she will never set foot on the beach ever again…