Kicks: The Sanuk Cassius

These Sanuk Cassius shoes are perfect for meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time, ‘cause if you drip some dad jeans over them they almost come off as smart casual, but the Happy U rubber outsole will keep you all relaxed so you’ll be your finest self, cracking laughs with her old man and making ma kick her under the table to signal her approval.

The inner lining looks like the bedspread in a luxury hotel room just off Wall Street in the 90s, which is exactly what you want your lining to look like, and it’s soft canvas so the print won’t even fade. The entry is pretty much designed to aid your life goal of avoiding any and all proper wearing of shoes. You ever do that thing where you push down the back and use them almost like a slide? These are perfect for that.

They’re waxed twill too, so they’ll kinda take a surprisingly epic beating, and they even come in five different colours like navy, brown, dark brown, khaki, and black which we’d most likely cop first.

Oh, and they’re Vegan and Vegetarian. Like, don’t eat them, but that just means they’re guilt-free. If that’s you’re deal. Or not.