Stab Magazine | Kelly Slater's guide to staying forever yung

Live Now: Chapter 11 Mini-Documentary With Dane Reynolds

2372 Views

Kelly Slater’s guide to staying forever yung

Words by Ali Klinkenberg Mankind has been forever obsessed with immortality. The Fountain of youth, the holy grail, the philosopher’s stone, the indomitable Gauls in the adventures of Asterix and Obelix. And the question that we really have to ask is: did Kelly Slater, like Obelix, fall into the cauldron of magic potion when he […]

style // Mar 8, 2016
Words by stab
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Words by Ali Klinkenberg

Mankind has been forever obsessed with immortality. The Fountain of youth, the holy grail, the philosopher’s stone, the indomitable Gauls in the adventures of Asterix and Obelix. And the question that we really have to ask is: did Kelly Slater, like Obelix, fall into the cauldron of magic potion when he was a baby? Mr Slater’s 43 years old, and yet his vitality and lust for competition and innovation is unparalleled. How is it that someone has stayed so relevant for so long? Is it some freak of nature, comets colliding miracle? No, it’s far more deliberate than that. Mr Slater has carefully curated a formula for staying young, sprightly, and, happy! Here’s the ingredients to Mr Slaters secret brew:

Kelly_Slide_1

The mind. Spirituality’s a dirty word in many circles. Unless, of course, it’s late and certain arrangements have been made to facilitate the watching of stars and the loosening of tongues. But Mr Slater truly believes that it is in art as it is in life. “Your results are what happen after you make choices,” said an insightful Mr Slater after his painful loss to the Italian Ferrari in the Fiji Pro. “And I feel like I haven’t been making the best choices. There’s a lot of things in my life that I need to work on, and sometimes I think that surfing’s an indicator, that there’s a spiritual message you can get from the things that you do. The results haven’t come, and when you’re clear-headed and decisive things just seem to fall into place. You’ve got to get your head right. In everything in life.” Here ends the first reading.

kelly chia

He’ll take you to the chia shop…

The Diet. Imagine waking up feeling loose, limber, slim, flexible and non-hungover every single day of your life. Kelly Slater’s been alive for 15,822 days, and, bets are that he’s probably been feeling more or less fabulous for 15,800 of them. It leaves so much time for activities.

b90a0f5e964bf4a96932f744616c6530

We’re just friends.

The Women. Mr Slater, much in the style of Mr Bond, is living proof that playing the field is good for a man. Pam, Gisele, Bar, Cam, the list goes on. But, the trick is to get it out of your system when you’re young, and then settle down with a more modest gal with a pearly smile later. You know that glamour that you’ve never forgotten? She’s likely living in a trailer full of little bastards, addicted to paint thinners. Girl next door’s the go. How does Mr Slater sleep at night? With a glistening dome full of enviable memories.

kelly biz

Paintball rules.

The Risk. Mr Slater’s a gambling man. Not the sort that rolls dice and counts to 21 over and over in his head, but the kind who likes to invest his pesos in a start up. K-grip, Komunity, VSTR, The Chia Co, Purps, GoPro, and the soon to be Outerknown. Looking back and thinking, “I should’ve tried my own thing,” is something that Kelly’s in no danger of.

Kelly_Slaters_Pro_Surfer_jpg

cheats

The Technology. The great Stephen Fry looks at technology like a mirror, “If an idiot looks in, you can’t expect an apostle to look out.” Undoubtedly one of the keys to Kelly’s longevity is his ability and willingness to adapt. Whether it be his incessant exploration of surfboard design, or his constant striving to improve his own surfing, or, something as seemingly simple as adopting the new age role of the celebrity in social media. Kelly was one of the first in the surf realm to open himself up to his fans, and, aren’t we all (the great man included) the richer for it.

kelly golf

The Fun! “You can’t raise boys to be scared of life,” says Royal Tenenbaum. “You’ve got to breed some recklessness into them. I’m talking about putting a brick through the other guy’s window, about taking it out and chopping it up.” Perhaps the most potent spice in Mr Slater’s broth is his insatiable appetite for fun. Being good at stuff is really fun, I’d imagine. Surfing, golfing, terrorising the media, Kelly’s good at all of it. The great playwright, composer, director, everything, Noël Coward, maintained that the secret to his prolificacy and longevity was that for him, “Work is more fun, than fun.” If there’s an ode to Mr Robert Kelly Slater’s secret powers, it may well be thus. No man has more fun.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Watch: João Chianca Had A Remarkable Hawaii Season Before His Injury

Plus an update on his condition.

Mar 28, 2024

Pittar’d And Feathered

Do the WSL judges deserve the internet's wrath? We asked the man of the hour.

Mar 28, 2024

Robbo, Pickles, And Tyler Wright Become The Underdogs Breakfast At Uninspiring Winkipop

The foreboding blade sharpens and inconsistent judging prevails on Day Two in Torquay.

Mar 27, 2024

“I Don’t Always Win Heats, But When I Do, I Try To Beat John John”

Slater shines and the axe begins its descent on Day 01 at Bells.

Mar 26, 2024

Back Against The Wall: The Ramzi Boukhiam Redemption

Morocco's first CT surfer on speaking six languages, having no coach, and snatching Fil Toledo's…

Mar 25, 2024

Will Kirra, Babies or JJF Stop a GOAT Winning at Bells?

Bluesky BOAG advice from a Superman specialist and former Trials winner.

Mar 25, 2024

Bells Preview: The WSL’s Victorian Sword Dancing Equinox Ritual

Will a Brazilian crack the Top 10 at Bells?

Mar 25, 2024

69 Shin Bones Later + the Anticlimactic State of Big Wave Record-Breaking

Lucas Chumbo might have surfed the biggest wave ever this year. But how will we…

Mar 23, 2024

Watch: ‘Fresh and Fried’ Ft the Quik Kids

How taxing is it to tackle the Gold Coast’s Triple Crown in a single day,…

Mar 23, 2024

The Popular Vote: The People’s Stab In The Dark With Kolohe Andino Champion

Which board looked best — to you —under Kolohe's talons?

Mar 22, 2024

Six Key Learnings From Portugal

Three CT events in, what do we know? 

Mar 21, 2024

‘Zipper’ Is Going On Tour, Here’s Where You Can Watch It  

Dates, times + locations for the Venice, Encinitas, Sydney + Byron premieres.  

Mar 20, 2024

Dane Reynolds On His Future, His Past, And Chapter 11’s Raison D’être

Our 9-minute plunge into the collective psyche of Ventura's pillar(s).

Mar 20, 2024

From ‘Blue Ribbon Cross Country Runner’ to Vogue – How Steph Again Is Back With A Rip Curl Remix

Everything we know about the she-GOATs sponsorship boomerang.

Mar 18, 2024

Stab Interview: Darren Handley Explains Why You Can’t Buy The Winning Stab In The Dark Model

And his decades-long standoff with Slater.

Mar 17, 2024

Griff Embraces Portugal’s Eternal Time Loop To Vanquish Medina + Ewing, Defay Delays The Inevitable

A redeeming closing act at Supertubos.

Mar 16, 2024

The Secret Behind Lungi Slabb’s Inconceivable Greenmount Funnel

Six broken boards, one leaking forehead, and five days of Superbank mysticism.

Mar 16, 2024

Cheat Codes: A Million Miles Worth Of Travel Advice From Coco Ho

Hard-earned wisdom from more than 2,000 hours in the troposphere.

Mar 15, 2024
Advertisement