Stab Magazine | "French Trophy Maker Skips The Middle Man And Asks Medina What He Wants His First Place Trophy To Look Like"

“French Trophy Maker Skips The Middle Man And Asks Medina What He Wants His First Place Trophy To Look Like”

This week, in the Greenroom. 

style // Oct 9, 2018
Words by Stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

This week in the Greenroom we saw the tour return to the land of the saggy ballbag as the waiting period for the Quiksilver Pro France begun with a forecast as attractive as the saggy La Graviere shoreline.

The WSL, who can’t do anything wrong, dropped their mobile surf game to disapproving reviews from some sections of the surf community [Editor’s Note: We loved it!] and Kelly shuts down the haters once and for all, providing the proof we all needed in the tale of the GOAT with the busted hoof.


Hossegor-France: He’s no rookie on the tour, this is the 5th time he has done the European leg, plus that year groveling through the QS, but still, every time he steps on the sand at Les Culs Nuls he can’t believe the amount of saggy leathered ball bags that are strutting up and down the sand, just metres from the 3 foot left rip bowl.

“Putting on your leg rope can be a daunting affair, it puts your eyes right at scrotum level”.


The WSL released it’s mobile surf game “True Surf” to the sound of ‘boos’ coming from iPhones all across Brazil as the in game wildcard was given to the 11th placed, Mikey Wright. One fan called the WSL the “World Shame League” with another asking why he can’t play as Deivid Silva. 

“Bonjour Gabriel it’s is me, Pierre. How do you want le trophy to look this year? Just don’t run over Keanu in the final again and the trophy’s all yours oui?”


The CDC has today confirmed that the brain eating amoeba, which tragically killed a New Jersey man who had recently surfed in the BSR Wave Pool in Waco Texas, has been found in the comments section of Stab. There has long been questions raised over the sanitary conditions and filtration of the comments section, as well as the presence of actual brains.

The comments section has been closed while investigations are ongoing. 


For more LOLs follow the Greenroom Times here. 


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

Hassling, Head-Dips, and Broken Apple Watches

The 2023 CT is underway. Here's what happened on Day One of the Billabong Pro…

Feb 2, 2023

Stephanie Gilmore And Filipe Toledo Are The 2022 Stab Surfers Of The Year 

Caity and Hughie take Best Juniors, “NOZ VID” wins best film, and Ho and Pringle…

Feb 2, 2023

Stab Surfer of the Year: The Stab Premium Vote

Day Ten: You voted, we counted.

Feb 1, 2023

Red Bulls, Crypto Bears, Former’s Six-Figure Fish, Tyler’s Multi-Millions And More

A brief catalog of the latest surf industry news and whispers.

Jan 31, 2023


“Definitely The First Time I’ve Gone Surfing Via Plane”

Parker Coffin, Harrison Roach, and friends tear through NZ on Roark's most well-rounded surf trip…

Jan 30, 2023

Pipe Preview: This Year Feels Different

With John and Gabs healthy — and the arrival of the femme next-gen — here’s…

Jan 29, 2023

WSL Tells Competitors: ‘You Better Like Them Apples’

Will mandating competitors to wear Apple Watches make the 2023 tour more or less engaging?

Jan 29, 2023

Stab Surfer of the Year: John John Florence, Italo Ferreira, Balaram Stack, Rolo Montes, and Shaun Manners

Day 9: "You can't do better than his year last year." - John John Florence

Jan 28, 2023

Full Moon Surfs, Impassable Puddles, And A Few Nights Spent Sleeping In A WSL Commentary Booth

A reader-submitted collection of nonconformist surf stories.

Jan 27, 2023

Kael Walsh Now Owns A Bitcoin, And Watched One Crypto Video

He’s officially your Stab Edit Of The Year champion.

Jan 27, 2023

Carissa Moore And Finn McGill Are Your 2023 Vans Triple Crown Of Surfing Champions 

They both pocket $50k and tickets to this year’s Vans Pipe Masters.

Jan 27, 2023


The Pick-Up, Presented By Vans, Episode 5

Mason Ho helps us ring in our final week on the North Shore.

Jan 27, 2023

Goofyfoot Brazilian World Champion Stars In Stab’s Biggest Board-Testing Franchise

Can you guess who?

Jan 26, 2023

Surf Community Rallies To Raise Funds For Eddie Winner And On-Duty Hawaiian Lifeguard Luke Shepardson

Because it's the right thing to do, of course.

Jan 26, 2023

Interview: Caity Simmers On Machete Wars, Rihanna, Personal Project Problems, And The Rise Of Female Surf Content. 

A toast to ‘Toasted.’

Jan 25, 2023

Stab Surfer of the Year: Creed McTaggart, Albee Layer, Laura Enever, Dane Guduaskas, and Selema Masekela

Day 8: "65 years young and charging just as hard as ever at Pipe, Backdoor,…

Jan 25, 2023

“I’m Not A Big Wave Guy”

How Kai Paula accidentally made his mark at Jaws three weeks after surfing it for…

Jan 24, 2023

Everyone Went.

A toes in the sand, phone in the lagoon account of the 10th Eddie Aikau…

Jan 24, 2023