Comments Of The Week, Edition 71
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened early in the morning by an alarm clock, dress, force-feed, piss, brush teeth, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially he makes lots of money for somebody else and is asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so? Bother if we know. At least we have you, the ambrosial reader, to sing praises to our labours. Here’s what got us leaping out of bed for another week.
“Man I wonder what the negotiations were like signing dane to his own damn company…” — Limbless Jack
“Cool story brah. Do you guys think he narrates everything in his life ? “Today I’m gonna take a dump. The bathroom is right down the hallway, and there is toilet paper. I checked. Here I go” …. camera follows him, cuts real quick to a random flock of bird at the beach, and comes back to Felipe as he sits down to crap.” — Axel Foley
“A good surfer can rip the bag out of anything: knee high, waist high; chest high…whatever regardless of how much or how little foam is under their feet. You wanna surf better? Get the fuck up off the couch put down the beer and chips and go for a run once in a while. Get fit. Stay fit or start surfing one of these hideous monstrosities and be one step closer to a long board, elasticated waist pants and a lifetime of regret, self loathing and possibly type 2 diabetes.” — Ando’s Back Knee
“Personally I can’t wait for the ADS documentary to come out.” — Striders Top Button
“’Happy. Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired — that’s the way to live.’
Or in my case in front of the pc, can of coke and two volumes of corporate law to analyse by tomorrow. Why I why can’t I just sponge of my rich mother??????” — RayDiZZLE
“Better than my life.. i’m staring into the mirror with self loathing and disgust, I have 2 lines of coke, i’m reading about law for my upcoming trial and I have to sponge bath my poor crack whore mother…” — TH > RayDiZZLE
“Very disappointing. He didn’t flip off the camera. This is a Noa Deane imposter.” — Balderdash Ballyhoo
“In other news, more stars are in the sky tonight.””””’Edit””””The stars are safe, until the Aussies find a way to drum/net them. (falling star syndrome)” — ValiantScorn
More Dane Reynolds Than You Can Stomach In One Serving
Chapter 11 TV is everything surf media needs.
Kanoa Igarashi On Concussions, Goose Chases, Title Visions, The Three Types Of Surfers CT’ers Encounter In The Water, And More
A candid and wide-ranging conversation with 2022 World #5.
Can Small-Scale Investors Buy Into Wave Pools?
Say you got $10k and a dream — what can you do?
An Early Pipeline Exit For Stephanie Gilmore Amidst GenZ Glory
Day Two of the 2023 CT season was a clear notice that the kids are…
Hand-Shaping, Glassing, And Finishing ’70s-Inspired Displacement Hulls Will Not Make You Rich
Profile: Tristan Mausse of Fantastic Acid is in it for all the right reasons.
Hassling, Head-Dips, and Broken Apple Watches
The 2023 CT is underway. Here's what happened on Day One of the Billabong Pro…
Stephanie Gilmore And Filipe Toledo Are The 2022 Stab Surfers Of The Year
Caity and Hughie take Best Juniors, “NOZ VID” wins best film, and Ho and Pringle…
Red Bulls, Crypto Bears, Former’s Six-Figure Fish, Tyler’s Multi-Millions And More
A brief catalog of the latest surf industry news and whispers.
“Definitely The First Time I’ve Gone Surfing Via Plane”
Parker Coffin, Harrison Roach, and friends tear through NZ on Roark's most well-rounded surf trip…
Pipe Preview: This Year Feels Different
With John and Gabs healthy — and the arrival of the femme next-gen — here’s…
WSL Tells Competitors: ‘You Better Like Them Apples’
Will mandating competitors to wear Apple Watches make the 2023 tour more or less engaging?
Stab Surfer of the Year: John John Florence, Italo Ferreira, Balaram Stack, Rolo Montes, and Shaun Manners
Day 9: "You can't do better than his year last year." - John John Florence
Full Moon Surfs, Impassable Puddles, And A Few Nights Spent Sleeping In A WSL Commentary Booth
A reader-submitted collection of nonconformist surf stories.
Kael Walsh Now Owns A Bitcoin, And Watched One Crypto Video
He’s officially your Stab Edit Of The Year champion.
Carissa Moore And Finn McGill Are Your 2023 Vans Triple Crown Of Surfing Champions
They both pocket $50k and tickets to this year’s Vans Pipe Masters.
The Pick-Up, Presented By Vans, Episode 5
Mason Ho helps us ring in our final week on the North Shore.