Stab Magazine | Comments Of The Week, Edition 63
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Comments Of The Week, Edition 63

Another week of debatable wit reviewed!

style // Dec 9, 2016
Words by Dane Noakes
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Once again Stab presents a glorious curation of questionable keyboard murmours from your favourite discussion platform. We’ve waded through the masses of overwhelming beauty and brilliance harvested in the comments section of this dot com and selected our faves. Remarkable how similar genius and insanity are, right? Anyhow, here is week’s ripest fruit.

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10. A Sequence You’ll Love: Just Another Day For John Florence

“Hello Stab: Since all Vissla clips are under protective custody from the comments section, I will use this to comment on the last story featuring their warm wetsuit:

Being a Florida fox, I don’t want to shit on the Eric or Evan. I like them and I was hoping that Evan would have made his heat yesterday. With that said…

1. You can’t use a Florida surfer in a wetsuit ad. It makes no logical sense.
 2. He’s wearing a winter wetsuit with the hood off and no gloves when he hits the lip. That is not a good example of cold water R&D, nor does it say much for the wetsuit. 
3. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Eric G surf anywhere colder than Central Florida.
 4. For people who surf in cold water, taped arms are not a flexibility benefit. You mention this and it is wrong. Go put a winter suit on with and without taped arms and then stop talking. 
5. The mill closed early this week, so I didn’t clock as many hours, so I’m a little pissy today. Soon I will be grinding out wood dildos again and you won’t see me bitching in the forum as much.” – Pam Hauser

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09. Some Kind Of Light With Bruce Irons

“Why mention Adriano’s title like that? totally uncalled for, Mineiro deserves more respect Stab” – Bruno

“Who?” – thevoiceofnoreason > Bruno

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08. It’s Finals Day At Sunset

“I think Cote/Mel earned enough points this triple crown to qualify for the CT Booth ’17” – AHAB

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07. Fire Set To The Lunada Bay Demolition Equipment

“grown men building forts? cosplay? safe spaces? are there any adults anymore?” – Plain Viewz

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06. Jordy Smith Just Won The Vans World Cup Of Surfing At Big, Clean Sunset Beach

“I started having a shot every time cote said “vans team rider” and don’t remember anything after round 4 heat 3. I must ran on auto pilot for while, cos I woke up to discover that Jordy had won, Jaddy was back on tour and I had shit myself. I cant decide which is worst.” – Phat-wan kerr

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05. Pins, Needles and Nosepicks With Mason Ho

“Finally the cunt isn’t surfing directly into rocks.” – Mason Ho’s Ding Guy

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04. Filmlyfe 2.0: Dylan Roberts

“‘Jack and Alana being naughty.’ Very clever, Stab. I was expecting some shoplifting or DUI footage.” – Swizzler

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03. Surf It While You Can: The Shifting Sands of Skeleton Bay

“It used to be perfect but now you get barreled, come out, then you get barreled, come out, then you get barreled again. I’m just going to quit surfing. I’m doing it all wrong.” – Mustard Tiger

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02. 10 Moments Worthy Of Winning The #stabfullframe Grand Prize

“Comment thread for Mad Hueys calendar:” – Mr. Sparkle

“It’s over on the article for qualification on next year’s CT” – ACTIVE SHOOTER > Mr. Sparkle

“brb” – Mr. Sparkle > ACTIVE SHOOTER

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01. Wanna Win Five New Twin Fins?

“A couple of those aren’t exactly twin fins. I’ll let it slide since I just watched a clip of an Aussie man punching a kangaroo for fucking with his dog. You idiots can’t count but at least you have balls.” – 20 mule team

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