Comments Of The Week, Edition 58
As curated by seasoned, revered commentator, iHusky.
9. Gallery: The Best Day Of The 2016 World Tour So Far
“Does Kelly’s ski run on biofuel, solar or the power of his aura?”
– Balderdash Ballyhoo, valid questioning. (15 upvotes)
“Tears of the children who go hungry so their dad could have an OuterKnown beanie for Christmas.”
– Phat-wan kerr, return serve. (19 upvotes)
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The Warm Grip Of Winter And The World’s Best Wetsuits
“Rip Curl Flashbomb, it was so expensive though that I can no longer afford rent. It does however keep me warm on the streets of Sydney now that I’m homeless. Versatility +1, Cost -1.”
– Noa’s last dart, on a life in neoprene. (24 upvotes)
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Taj Burrow Finishes His Career On The Best Heat Of His Life
“Great surfing, great heat, great person, great career, great service to the community, great role model to the children of the east coast of Australia, My Hero… Thanks Parko.”
– Duncan Jeffrey, sophisticated trolling. (21 upvotes)
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No Surfer Will Ever Make The Forbes 100 Highest Paid Athletes List
“No Forbes 100 Highest-Paid Athletes will ever make the prestigious Stab Comments Of The Week.”
– Joe Turpentine, accurate. (7 upvotes)
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Bruce Irons Discusses The Rebirth Of DC’s Surf Team
“Signing Bruce these days is like filming another Transformers movie. There hasn’t been value in years but d-bags will keep watching.”
– danesblub, on box office hits and our enduring love of BI. (5 upvotes)
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Eight Things You Never Knew About Kelly Slater
“Hey Kelly, killer boots man.”
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The Warm Grip Of Winter And The World’s Best Wetsuits
“Industry wetsuit lingo explained:
Dry Flight Far Infrared Heat thermal lining = Ridiculous way of saying it’s lined
F¹n Lite neoprene = does that stand for fucking light? whatever, its the same as last year’s
Red Seal seam = it has a seam that’s fucking red! epic…
Super seal neck = you probably wont be able to breathe
Double super seam weld = ‘seams’
TechnoButter 2-air firewall neoprene = hahahahahhahahahaha
Super seal cuffs, plasma wrist and ankle seals, = why wouldnt they double super seam this bit?
F.U.Z.E zip closure system = zipper”
– Mr. Sparkle, sceptic. (30 upvotes)
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The South Coast Of Australia Was Vengeful Last Week
“I don’t like to think about all the time I could have spent on Pornhub if editors just played their clips at regular speed.”
– Striders Top Button, in need of more upvotes.
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Gallery: The Best Day Of The 2016 World Tour So Far
“At the start of the year no one thought he would go this far, hold onto the lead this long, have a chance, I assumed he just got lucky, he was a ridiculous long shot, basically a joke, but here we are in the middle of June, and Donald Trump is the Republican nominee. Oh, and how the fuck is Wilko still in this?”
– david f-branded comment perfection. (31 upvotes)
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