You've Got An Unopened Chrissie Present: RAGE 3 - Stab Mag

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You’ve Got An Unopened Chrissie Present: RAGE 3

Inside: Noa Deane, Shaun Manners, Creed Mctaggart, the Vinnies, & Beau Foster.

Words by Ethan Davis
Reading Time: 3 minutes

‘Another Round’ was a Danish film that came out last year. 

Vinnie, Taj-lookin straighty.

A group of teachers celebrate Nikolaj’s fortieth birthday and discuss the work of renowned psychiatrist, Finn Skårderud – who’s work showed that humans are born with a blood alcohol content (BAC) deficiency of 0.05%, and that being at 0.05% makes one more creative and relaxed. After a few drinks they decide to conduct a secret experiment and consume alcohol on a daily basis to see how it affects their social and professional lives. 

Chun, BAC undetermined BS leany.

The rules are 1.) their BAC should never be below 0.05 2.) they should not drink after 8:00pm (the favored regimen of Ernest Hemingway) or on the weekends, 3.) and no one is allowed to get “knee-walking” drunk.

Rule 3.) No knee-walking.

Spoiler Alert: Within a short period of time, all four members of the group find both their work and private lives more enjoyable and successful. Martin, in particular, is delighted as he finally manages to reconnect with his wife and children. His teaching of history becomes inspired, and his students begin enjoying class and respecting him. He teaches history through the lens of drinking alcohol, connecting with heavy drinking students. 

The best kickout oop you’ve seen in a while (3:13)

It’s funny, irreverent, dark, and light, and in the end one of the main protagonists, Tommy, drinks himself into oblivion, boards his boat out to sea with his old dog, and dies – Almost won an Oscar. 

Chandelier draggy.

Now, RAGE. 

Chig, high and dry.

The surf accessory business comprising Toby Cregan, Ellis Ericson and the RAGE 3 cast just released their eponymous trilogy – it’s really entertaining.

Jel, Indo jam.

The surfing is big, the BAC’s demeritable, music homegrown and gritty (Blistar, WASH, Cupid and the Stupids), and the cinematography fucking incredible. Thus the pinterest board of extracted frames you see here. 

Creed, foamball ready.

The point of the Danish film spiel? Well does a 0.05 BAC = better surfing? 

Beau Foz and an ominous bowl of sidewash.

The RAGE team put forth a provocative thesis.