Ozzie Wrong Grabs A Long Stick And Dances Through The Desert

I’ve been deeply in love with Ozzie Wright’s surfing since… I don’t know when. Whenever the first V Co video blew him up. With its awful editing and horrible music that I rewound until I destroyed the tape because I wanted nothing more than to ape his wide leg Cardiel approach to surfing. Totally controlled out-of-control. It was aspirational.

Then I got old, my joints began to hurt, they stopped bending right, and I gave up. It’s a part of maturity and, to any of our readers who swear it won’t happen to them… have fun with that, sucker.

 But I guess Mr. Wrong is riding big boards now? Oh my goodness. I’m such a happy boy. I’m old too. I can’t ride a 5’10 in throating tubes. But I’d totally surf like that on a 7’4. Or whatever his deal is sized up to my oafish dimensions.

Thanks for helping me recapture my youth, Ozzie. I’ll forward the hospital bills your way.