Why Can't My Board Do This? - Stab Mag

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Why Can’t My Board Do This?

This business of surfboard peddling is built on a bed of lies!

cinema // Nov 23, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: < 1 minute

I’ve never ridden a Xanadu. They look like nice boards, and I’ve got a couple buddies who swear by them, but I can’t claim to have any personal experience on the things. So what am I left with to form an opinion that might direct a purchase? Photos, videos, professional testimonials. Marketing

The above video, which was designed by Xanadu to help sell their crafts, features a very handy Tanner Hendrickson calling Xanadus “the best boards in the world”. Tanner then goes on to surf the boards exceptionally well, showcasing a variety of maneuvers ranging from full-rail cutbacks, nose-slide reverses and a gaggle of backside full-rotes. Anything a man could want a board to do, really. 

But this whole concept of “a board works for a pro so it must work for me” is a little silly, no? There’s no way most of will ever put a surfboard, regardless of its make or model, in any of the positions seen in this video. It’s cool that the boards can do that, but what does it really mean to a consumer? If you’re a sucker, and we’re all suckers in one way or another, then maybe a lot, but objectively it shouldn’t mean shit. 

A Xanadu will work as well as a Merrick will work as well as a Haydenshapes etc.

For continual improvement, the best thing we can do is build a relationship with a shaper and continually fine-tune our crafts to suit our specific blend of mediocrity. For continual fun, the best thing we can do is try a myriad of different brands and designs, each offering a new angle to display our incompetency.

The world is a blank canvas, feel free to ruin it in any manner that you please!

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