Can Four Of Byron Bay’s Most Colorful & Sexy-Haired Pros Handshape, Paint & Surf A Board With Limited Time & Experience? - Stab Mag
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Can Four Of Byron Bay’s Most Colorful & Sexy-Haired Pros Handshape, Paint & Surf A Board With Limited Time & Experience?

Byron Bay Brewery and Stab present ‘S.U.R.F.’D.

cinema // Jun 27, 2022
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

And we’re back. 

Hey guys. 

How’s things?

It’s good to see you again.

Byron Bay Brewery and Stab have decided to bring back S.U.R.F., the Byron Bay-based surf-series starring four of the rainbow region’s most colorful and sexy professional surfers competing in left-of-field challenges that relate to the everyday surfer’s experience for the chance of winning 1,000,000 cents and a shit-tonne of glory.

Former winner, Jake ‘Vinny’ Vincent relives his season one win. But can he go back-to back?

If you’re not familiar with S.U.R.F., worry not, it is surf content designed to save surfing from being painfully boring, and you can catch up on the first four episodes right below. 

Previously, small-wave tech trickster Jake Vincent won S.U.R.F by a one-point margin over the handsome ex-CTer, Soli Bailey in a highly contentious final across four different challenges as judged by all four surfers. However, Ozzie Wright had a busted knee and Ari ‘Krooky’ Browne cast a bad luck spell on himself coming last in 3 of the 4 challenges. So owing to all the desturbed frequencies at play and in the spirit of true karmic healing we did it all again, this time calling on the good people of Byron to democratically choose our winner.

Judgement day (night).

Here’s how it worked. 

We gave each surfer a blank and six hours to hand shape a board. They all had very little experience so it was funny. They were allowed to get help from a local shaping guru, who could offer guidance but not touch the boards.  

They were then given a brush and a tin of paint because their next challenge was to turn that recently butchered foam into art. The highest form of art there is ‘surf art’. LOL.

“Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known,” said Oscar Wilde. Four incredibly unique boards made by four unique personalities.

Next of course was hydrodynamics. Did these boards work? Surfable? Sufferable? Did the art look any good? Or was it all just like the latest latte art from another bloated barista?

Finally, at the party Byron Bay Brewery and Stab hosted last Friday at Traeger Warehouse, we broadcasted their unique approaches to handshaping, painting and surfing to the good people of Byron and then asked our audience via Soundbok to place a special bottlecap they were handed at the door into the oral cavity of the surfer they thought performed best. 

Democracy manifest.

The surfer with the most bottlecaps wound up with a $10K novelty cheque. 

Simple. 

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