Stab Magazine | Tony Abbott's Excuse For Dropping In On Ivy Thomas Sucks

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Tony Abbott’s Excuse For Dropping In On Ivy Thomas Sucks

Half blind but still able to establish that she was “extremely attractive?” IT DON’T ADD UP, TONES.

news // Apr 14, 2016
Words by @bailey.eldering
Reading Time: < 1 minutes

It was a few weeks ago that one of the highest profile drop-ins in surfing history went down at Noosa Point, Queensland. An image surfaced online featuring Ex-Prime Minister of Australia, face of a nation for two whole years, Tony Abbott, blatantly burning a 17 year-old logger on a Tea Tree foamer. We heard the recount on the Courier Mail from north coast gurfer and victim, Ivy Thomas, where she admitted she was less worried about the non-consensual tandem ride and more relieved that the 58-year-old was (unseasonably) wearing a wetsuit and not his ‘budgie smugglers’. For those unacquainted with Tones, seeing him in minimal swimwear isn’t an unusual sight. Anyhow, the drop in was enough to temporarily holt scrolling, but we never heard what Mr Abbott had to say about the incident. He’s a surfer, right? He should know the deal. Where’s the apology, or at least an acknowledgement of wrongdoings?

“The truth is I have no peripheral vision, particularly when I’m surfing,” Tony told Roccy FM radio station. “If it’s a righthand break, I just can’t see out of my left eye. It’s just impossible. I don’t know whether it’s the salt water or if it’s some genetic defect but I just can’t see…” An excuse that wouldn’t fly in most lineups. Interestingly, his vision restored in time to give Ivy a once over:

I was just catching the wave minding my own business and eventually there was this extremely attractive and very, very talented surfer on my left.”

Next time you’re on the sands of Oahu with an angry local on the chase, remember Tony’s excuse. Just don’t bring physical appearance into it.

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