Stab Magazine | There's A Big Difference Between Boat Trips and Cruise Ships

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There’s A Big Difference Between Boat Trips and Cruise Ships

Like an all-you-can-eat buffet, Carnival Cruises just can’t help themselves when it comes to fucking up the ocean.

news // Apr 29, 2019
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

In a recent conversation with Crosby Colapinto, Griff’s kid brother, he mentioned that he was psyched to try and put an Indo boat trip together with a few of his friends. 

“I’ve never done that and I think it would be rad,” he said.

The Indo boat trip is largely a vestige of the booming ‘aughts. Do surf companies do boat trips to the Ments anymore? Seems like that died along with print spreads. 

But one boat trip that’s persisted through ups and down are the classic American cruise. Guaranteed to add 20 pounds to your waistline and more than a few points to your blood pressure, those floating buffets have largely escaped the ire of the surf community. After all, what’s one boat trip to another, right?

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But dig on this, cruise ships are way grosser than you ever even thought. 

“In the year after Carnival Corporation was convicted of systematically dumping oily waste into the ocean and lying about it to regulators, its ships illegally discharged more than a half-million gallons of treated sewage, gray water, oil and food waste, and burned heavy fuel oil in ports and waters close to shores around the world, according to a court-appointed monitor.”

That’s the opening lede in a recent Miami Herald article. The reporting goes on to detail exactly how crude and rude Carnival’s cruise ships are when sailing the high seas.

“In 2016, Miami-based Carnival Corp., the largest cruise company in the world and owner of nine cruise brands, pleaded guilty to seven felony charges in relation to its eight-year-long ‘conspiracy’ of illegal oil dumping and subsequent cover-up on five of its Princess Cruise Line ships. Carnival Corp. agreed to pay a $40 million fine — the largest-ever criminal penalty involving deliberate vessel pollution — and five years of probation.”

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If you’ve ever felt guilty about peeing in your wetsuit, how’s this list of offenses:

  • Released more than 500,000 gallons of treated sewage into Bahamian waters.
  • Released more than 11,000 gallons of food waste.
  • Burned unfiltered heavy fuel in protected waters off of North America.

And that’s just in the last couple of years. Carnival pleaded guilty to illegally dumping oil in 1998. In 2002 they plead guilty to falsifying records about oil dumping. They were convicted of more crimes in 2016. 

Boat trips are rad, but not when you puke all your bullshit back in the ocean. Next time grandma wants to book a trip on Carnival, just direct them to the nearest Golden Coral. 

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