Stab Magazine | Subaru And Daniel Tosh Almost Got Surfing Right

Subaru And Daniel Tosh Almost Got Surfing Right

So close. 

Words by stab

Surfing is adventure.

Well, not for you and me. For us, it’s just a way to not become clinically insane or, even worse, overweight alcoholics who passionately consume, argue about and fantasise over sports we don’t play.

But for big non-endemic brands? This shit is adventure. It’s the epitome of living a full life. And, conveniently, a great way of telling the world that when actions, virtue, and general ethics fail, you can simply purchase an identity. After all, the best way to destroy pretentiousness and vanity is to sell everything and live out a van then make an Instagram, a blog and a movie out of it.

So, Subaru. Daniel Tosh. Another shot at making surfing buyable. Let’s analyse.

-Daniel Tosh surfs well — used to crush dreams in the Explorer Juniors division at Florida NSSAs back in his day from what I hear.
-Love the shot at SUPs 51 seconds in. It’s true. If you take a small boat and an oversized spoon into the ocean, you have no friends and most people want you to pass on.
-Kissing the wrong person vaguely hints at the adulterous lifestyle running rampant in the surf industry.

-Wetsuits. Homeboy’s in a hood, and you’re wearing a short john? Be better.
-Boards like that kind of suck.
-Them racks. Putting a board on the roof when there is clearly room in the car is an IMMEDIATE write-off. Worse than strapping your board on the wrong way in my opinion. Fuck those weird little rabbits you have back there and toss that thing in the boot.

6.73. Good job, good effort Subaru. Still won’t be buying one of your automobiles until I become the leading scorer on my woman’s lacrosse team.


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