Sadly, Ocean’s Mist isn’t real; But Balter Brewery is!

Bravo, Mick Fanning, Joel Parkinson, Josh Kerr and Bede Durbidge. We bought it! While I’ve never been more happy to have fallen for a gag, a little part of me is just… slightly sad. There, I said it. Now we can move on to details:

Yesterday, Mick and Joel posted on their personal IGs that they were launching a new line of men’s grooming products, the lead product of which would be a cologne called Ocean’s Mist. The company was called Surfers 4, and while it was two weeks late for April Fool’s, it was December 25 for the Internet.

Today we’re all devastated to learn that there’ll be no cologne. But instead, these four gents are launching something that everyone can enjoy: A craft beer brewery called Balter (for enjoyment), which’ll be based on the Gold Coast.

It’s hard not to wonder if Mick took a cut in his $400k-plus deal with Red Bull to allow this, given the conflict involved with being an ambassador for two consumable liquids. And, same with Bede and Rockstar, ‘cept, like, on a way smaller level.

While your Stab correspondent was under the impression that the craft beer bubble had burst late 2013 and been fading somewhat since, there’s still a big boom in Queensland microbreweries. Throw in the attraction that four of surfing’s biggest names bring in such a surf-centric state, as well as Australia’s twisted fucking obsession (myself included) with suds, and this is a kinda solid biz model, really.