Sad Pads: Dissecting The Most Horrific Traction Applications This World Has Ever Seen
“If you grip a longboard or fish, you should go straight to jail.”
For all the cultural barriers surfing and all its collective experience can bridge, there is one that resonates across the globe above all others. That is the (nerve-wracking) anxiety that comes with applying a traction pad to a freshie.
There’s so much at stake, such promise in the air and the foam. Now all that’s left is to slap some adhesive foam on the back and you’re ready to rip. Except it’s never that simple or easy and the second-guessing measurements ensue, leaving you sweating like you’re in a 5-mil on a hot summer’s day.
Perhaps it’s this tension that has us laughing out loud at the ridiculous images coming from the Instagram account @sadpads, a bizarre and bewildering collage of traction pads applied in ways you never thought possible.
This account is like fine wine. The deeper you scroll the more intriguing/infuriating it gets. It’s not just pads on high-fi blades getting bludgeoned with poorly placed foam. Logs, twins, bronzers are victims too. Too high, too low, too big, too small. You wouldn’t be faulted for calling some works of art. Revel in its audacity.
As the curator of this collection says, the intention here isn’t to ridicule or judge. Let the pad-perfectionists among us cast the first stone. Rather, it’s meant to provide a good laugh and a good cringe. Below you’ll find in a brief conversation with the account’s creator about why this stuff is so hard to look at, what qualifies a sad (bad) pad job, and finally, how to make sure this never happens to you.
Stab: What made you want to start this account?
Sad Pads: There’s always been something exceptionally comedic about a glaring pad misplacement. The pandemic surf boom really was an explosion of appalling setups that were just so incredibly heinous, I felt they needed to be shared. I wasn’t sure if I was alone in this, but the growth of the Sad Pads community brought some validity. The intention isn’t so much to be judgmental, more so that we’re all laughing at ourselves as a culture.
How do you find so many photos of poorly placed traction?
It doesn’t take long scrolling sites like Craigslist, Offer Up, Gumtree, or Facebook Marketplace before you stumble upon something that will truly make you gasp. As Sad Pads has gained more traction (oof), the SadPads community has really stepped in and participated with some top-tier submissions. There are some great people at core shops around the world who know to share a Sad Pad when they get one on their used racks. And, of course, there’s plenty of pros that are frequent violators. Tanner Gudauskas carries the Astrodeck torch of some seriously avant-garde setups, and he’s been a good sport about it. CJ Hobgood is championing the anti-waxer movement. Nathan Florence had full-board traction at Pipeline this winter that lit up the page. A ton of young air guys are doing some really weird shit with pads lately that needs to be poked fun of. Also, there’s something about Octopus pads that seems to cause people to lose their minds when placing. Suddenly everyone is Chippa.
What constitutes a “sad pad?” What criteria are you looking for?
One man’s sad is another man’s rad, or so the saying goes. But tail pads placed too high up are pretty much universally disgusting. Functionally, it’s a hack job and just by looking at it you know the board won’t turn. Other than that, full deck traction (the anti-wax movement) is becoming more and more concerning.
The pandemic obviously led a lot of new people into the ocean and into the arms of the surf industry. Do you think most of the people using pads this egregiously are new to the game and oblivious to their ways? Or are these salty dogs who couldn’t care less?
The pandemic led to the pad-demic, there’s no doubt about it. Just grip it and rip it, is what I imagine is being sold at some shops. On the flip side, we’re seeing more of the big wave guys opt for full deck traction and higher-up kicks. If it makes sense functionally for charging, hard to argue with it, but no one is above rousting.
Why do you think surfers feel so strongly about bad (sad) traction?
I think Sad Pads has tapped into something that is uniquely enjoyed by “core” surfers. You still need to have that background to get it, for the most part. It’s a little too niche for the general non-surfing public to grasp, perhaps even so for most novice surfers. This has the feel of an inside joke, in a sense.
What’s the worst one you’ve seen?
I’ve seen so many terrible setups by now, my eyes won’t dry. There’s so many to choose from, but recently “Uncle Dave” Suhadolnik had a very incredulous (and divisive) self-shape with wild nose traction. He ripped on it, Stab backed it, but I still think it’s mental.
Thumbs up or thumbs down on front traction?
There’s a bit more of a split when it comes to front deck traction. They’ve clearly made a resurgence over the past few years, but I’m confident it’s just a marketing ploy by “Big Traction” to get hard-working civilian surfers to shell out another $40-$50.
Are you a core anti-pad lord? Or do you think there’s still room for traction in this world?
Some might be surprised to hear that I’m not anti-pad. There was a time as a grom that I thought I could go full Pancho Sullivan, but the back foot just feels too at home nestled against a kick. Mad respect for guys like Mason who rip firmly on wax and refuse to be bought.
What kind of board(s) should you never stick a pad on?
If you grip a longboard or fish, you should go straight to jail. Also old-school shapes. They should remain pad-free as our ancestors intended.
When you finally get ready to apply the pad, what are the most important things to keep in mind?
Measure twice, grip once. Get that tail pad all the way back, or live long enough to see yourself on Sad Pads.
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