Stab Magazine | Longboarder Ruins Perfectly Good Air Reverse!

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Longboarder Ruins Perfectly Good Air Reverse!

Or, “Get Longboarders Mad At Me, Part 2,” by Brendan Buckley. 

news // Apr 11, 2018
Words by Brendan Buckley
Reading Time: 2 minutes

It is with solemnity and sadness that I must report a very unfortunate happening in surfing: a longboarder has ruined a perfectly good air reverse.

What we see in this Instagram clip posted by @everydaysrad is a ramp gone wrong. Let’s walk through it.

-An unidentified surfer approaches an air section. He’s got speed. He’s got his board perfectly under his feet. He’s got an orange hat, for flair, and for the chicks… This is going to be BIG

-Out of nowhere, a longboarder, on a dangerous 10’2”, comes storming into the frame (that @everydaysrad should have been filming).  

-Stunned by the longboarder’s aggression, the Surfer’s front foot comes off his board. A little. No big deal. Not a game changer. Sometimes this happens and you don’t even feel it.

-The longboarder puts his hands up in an obvious attempt to slap the wave’s rightful surfer’s board away from his feet.


What longboarders (obviously) don’t understand is, when you put yourself in the air, you’re putting yourself at risk. For the longboarder to brazenly endanger the surfer like that, just so he can longboard a wave is flat-out malicious. Criminal, even. If the shortboarder got injured, rest-assured this footage would stand in a court of law.

The defendant is a gentleman Kyle Perez. You can tell he’s no-good because of where he’s standing on the board. You need to be on the tail applying back foot pressure in order to execute big maneuvers — this guy is nowhere near it. His positioning alone makes me question if he even really surfs.

Furthermore, this happened at San Onofre. What was the Kyle even doing there? As we all know, San Onofre is the Spanish translation of San Onuphrius — a Christian hermit from the 5th century. Onuphrius suffered through harsh living conditions, to worship the lord in seclusion deep in the Egyptian desert.  

This was a man of God! A man who left behind a life of luxury and comfort to devote his life to his faith. Doesn’t sound like some pot-smoking hedonistic van dweller to me.

Yet they think it’s a logging wave.

Classic longboard colonialism. No regard for the past, no respect for History. Think about where we came from.


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