Kelly Slater Finally Buys The Kinda Property He Deserves

Can we just ask a quick question?

How has it taken 45 years for Kelly Slater to buy the kinda pussy palace he deserves? A quick recap: 

• He owns 11 world titles.
• He was earning Real Surf Industry Money through the early 2000s. 
• Uh, he’s Kelly fucking Slater. 

Considering Kelly will still be ruling Pipeline at age 70, it’s fitting that he bought up some more real estate on the seven-mile miracle (he already owns a little banger at Pupukea). In a future that will likely see him spending most of his time between Hawaii and Fiji, this place will serve him well as he puts down roots in the Pacific. H

e’s rumoured to have paid around six bricks resulting in 101 luxurious feet of direct beach access. Other than that, the house has seven bedrooms, eight bathrooms with 7860 square feet to dwell in. Says the listing: “

A rich blend of structural design maximising Hawaii’s indoor/outdoor living capturing the allure and tranquillity of the tropics! Grand yet intimate, this high-tech property features the main residence, two separate guest residences all opening to pool and lush private gardens.”

The understated Malibu home of the greatest surfer of all time.

We know living in the Air Stream at Malibu is cool and all but ol KS just went up about 10 notches in our book with this acquisition. And, we suggest a phone number clearance, Mr Slater. That’s a lotta friends to fill all those rooms.

New phone, who dis?