Stab Magazine | John John Florence Was Unbeatable On Final's Day At The Rio Pro
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John John Florence Was Unbeatable On Final’s Day At The Rio Pro

James B’s biased Rio report and depression due to no Brazilians in the final… 

news // May 20, 2016
Words by James B
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Well boys, that’s it! The final’s day at the Oi Rio Pro kicked off this morning in challenging, rainy conditions. James B had a great time this week, filling your heads with local, albeit biased knowledge.

But let’s focus on Rio, here’s some hot facts from today:
This year’s crazy! On account of changes of the guard and underdog dream runs, the tour is way more exciting right now than the old Slater/Parko/Fanning days. Have a nice retirement boys!

I love Dusty surfing, but Payne’s post heat interviews are worse than Italo’s. Just Payneful… see what I did there? Can you guys imagine how bad it would be If Dusty was required to answer the questions in Portuguese?

We all know that John is the Brazilian’s chosen one but it’s a bit shameful. The only time I saw something with a real “wow” factor in this event was his highest scoring ride in his semifinal against the 2015 world champ, Adriano de Souza. It was not enough from the world’s best surfer since the lazy, Dane Reynolds.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vldzX1wYZo8

With James B’s bold statement, Stab’s calling for a JB v Davey Cathels showdown!

Davey Cathels, twin number two…. I know, he beat Gabriel Medina at Bells and Filipe Toledo at Postinho. But I swear, in the right conditions, James B would beat him in a heat…

For those who missed my day three report, we investigated and found out that Stuart Kennedy (#1), Davey Cathels (#2) and Adam Melling (#3) are actually identical triplets. Place them together on a righthand pointbreak and I guarantee that you’ll take half an hour to figure out who’s who.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/9IO_9yJipxk

For now… let’s forget the bias and nation x nation shit. I urge you to go watch the heat analyzer and compare John John and Gabs’ heats and waves. You’ll see how much better Gabriel was surfing at Rio. Medina’s boards have a little extra volume and those thick Cabiancas were flying (literally) in the mushy conditions.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/_wOWKKOytb0

Jack Freestone, fresh off a torn MCL finally proved why he got on tour in the first place.

Medina lost in the semis to Jack Freestone while holding the highest score of the heat (9.07) and was unable to obtain a backup score. Gabs’ good result at Rio will spark up his second half of the season. Last year Medina woke up at Jeffrey’s Bay. This year he’s got an earlier start and will not be easy to take down. Watch out Wilko and Micro!

And man… Who would of guessed? Alana’s boy did well at Rio. A final? That’s really something I wasn’t expecting.

Let’s see if Freestone is able to fight Caio Ibelli for the rookie of the year honours. Apologies to my friends from the Goldie but I just can´t see anything special in Jack’s surfing, but the next events will give him a chance to show us of what he’s made of.

2016 JJF is all about playing the game. He surfed smart, catered to the judges and did it in typical JJF fashion: always finding a tube. 

The final was easy biz for John John. In Pupukea-like conditions, the Hawaiian showed his dominance early and gave no chances to an already stoked Freestone. John was really in tune with the ocean and found the waves with the best scoring potential. The fact that there was no Brazilian in the final put me in a shit mood, that is all… 

James B’s Favourite Comments of Day 3 report:
david f
“James B x Stab Beach Chair Series brought to you by Zika Virus in association with the WSL – proudly giving surfers pink eye from Rio’s shit filled water for 40 years.”

Plain Viewz
sorry to say it James but you’ve officially reached peak James B, both articles were lazy and uninteresting, not one funny or worthwhile comment in either… It was a good run while it lasted.

Caveira é Baitola
James B is the best and fuck the rest

Mark R
Mark R loves how James B writes about himself in third person. I only wish he was also a WCT surfer and still wrote the reviews: “James B thought James B surfed brilliant, just like the way James B writes however James B is a bonehead at heat strategy and lost by giving a stinkbugging John John a wave under priority therefore James B has ruined James B’s night and will get ready for Fiji and drink James B into oblivion tonight”.

Thruster_Truster
Thank you James B, NAILED it with the Stu, Melling, Cathels triplets. I thought I was seeing things and suffering from a mental illness with those 3. I started to feel guilty for not being able to watch them surf, fricking painful!

Final Results:
1. John John Florence 18.97

2. Jack Freestone 16.13

Semifinal Results: 
Heat 1: John John Florence 18.73 def. Adriano de Souza 12.66

Heat 2: Jack Freestone 16.50 def. Gabriel Medina 14.67

Quarterfinal results:
Heat 1: John John Florence 15.17 def. Dusty Payne 8.50

Heat 2: Adriano de Souza 12.97 def. Davey Cathels 10.00

Heat 3: Jack Freestone 12.50 def. Miguel Pupo 11.60

Heat 4: Gabriel Medina 15.77 def. Adam Melling 6.00

Remaining Round Five Results:
Heat 4: Adam Melling 10.80 def. Michel Bourez 10.00

2016 Top Five (after Oi Rio Pro):
1. Matt Wilkinson 24,500 pts
2. Italo Ferreira 18,750 pts
3. John John Florence 18,700 pts
4. Sebastian Zietz 17,500 pts
5. Caio Ibelli 17,200 pts

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