Here’s Who Fell For The Great Instagram Hoax Of August 20th, 2019

Reaction and outrage culture is on trend. 

In the age of misinformation, the misinformed set social media ablaze, and yesterday, Instagram went up in smoke faster than a dreadlocked white kid at his first Dead and Company concert.

It was a theatrical gathering, many getting high on self-promotional supply, reposting a blurry image that stood for something to effect of:

What I post on Instagram is an extension of my creative and intellectual property, and therefore my body, and my body is a temple, and I will not allow your new policy changes to molest the hallowed content of my thoughtfully curated feed. 

DO NOT COMPROMISE MY IDEAL SELF. 

Here’s what the actual post read:

And, yeah the idea that Instagram can use your images in court cases against you is startling. At least, until you consider that everything you post onto Instagram, you post onto a public platform. And, therefore it becomes part of a public domain that can be used against you in the court of law. Not dissimilar to when someone makes a public threat on Facebook, whether it be personal or terroristic, that that post can be used against them in court. Or used as a means to prevent the proposed action.

Also, by posting photos to Instagram, you’re giving Instagram permission to share your photos. It’s Instagram’s literal function. The sharing of DMs, however, would be concerning. 

Yesterday, the above words flooded our collective IG feeds, by, well, a lot of IG handles… including people whose IGs consist of mostly selfies, photos of food and the occasional middle finger… which felt weird.

But as for the Great Instagram Hoax of August 20th, those who fell for it should now take a moment to laugh at their gullibility and feel a bit better (or worse) knowing that many high profile celebrities and even a notable US political figure also fell victim to the prank. Including but not limited to Rob Lowe, Judd Apatow, Usher, Julia Roberts, Josh Brolin, and the man in charge of the United State’s nuclear arsenal, Gov Rick Perry.

In our little, provokable subculture, here’s who hopped aboard the Instagram shame train: Rob Machado; Twiggy Baker; Flea; Danny Fuller; Ari Browne; surf scribe, Jamie Brisick; surf photographer, Grant Ellis; mother of Fletcher, Dibi; surf filmer, Wes Larsen; absolute icon of the surf art and photography sphere, Craig Stecyk, and many more who have since deleted their post after some kind soul let them in on a little secret.

Sal Masekela reposted Trevor Noah’s (the man who took John Stewart’s throne when he retired) version, that calls Instagram “a Bad Boy,” and is decidedly better.

But the most admirable post in surf came from none other than longboard doyen and master of the Instagram triangle choke, Sir Joel Tudor. Joeljitsu posted a selfie complete with an organic baseball bat dangling from his lips, and stated:

Dear @instagram you can have all my pictures …most aren’t mine ..usually found via google / old magazines…hope you enjoy and thanks for the platform to share! Ps ..this is a hemp/cbd ciggy for my aching back …hope it makes community guidelines! 

To which, we apply a slow clap.

It’s worth noting; this isn’t the first time the people of Instagram have fallen victim to this new policy sham courtesy of the non-existent Channel 13 News. 

In 2012, a post went viral with a verbatim version of what flooded our feeds yesterday. 

But seven years in human time is a century in Internet time and, while people tend to forget, the Internet never does.