Here’s What A Film Premiere Should Look Like
Drag’s ‘Ripped’ tour kicked off a little looser than anticipated.
Who the fuck has film premieres anymore?
I thought the Instagram conglomerate had encompassed everything from cake-faced selfies to the entirety of surfing motion pictures; these days it’s tough going to see a clip over 60 seconds long, let alone set yourself into a venue for a full-length feature.
Fortunately, for those of us with a penchant for old-fashioned booze and riot filled premieres, Drag had us covered.
Pre-film, pre-riot and well before the hangovers set in.
Alright, ‘riot’ may be a stretch, but as far as surf prems go, last Thursday in the ‘Gong was one for grandkids – if they’re into tales of quasi-boog flicks and paddy-wagons, that is.
After pestering the Drag minion, ‘Maddog’, on my way South, I was informed that himself and Katesy were still applying the last minute touches to the clip – this was about five hours before kick-off.
As it turned out, the film wasn’t done* until about five minutes before the prem. And the bunch of beanie-wearing, dart sucking trendsetters out front were becoming flustered by the ongoing delays. Eventually, the hardrive and projector stopped fucking up just long enough for the 40-minute endeavour to be blown up and viewed on the white-painted brickwall inside the Stoke Factory.
The ‘Designated Officer for Responsible Flipping’ in question.
If you’ve seen R.I.P., then expect the same, but with more standing up – it’s certainly no Kai Neville edit, despite what the end credits might say.
Chippa’s section is literally mind blowing, the Drag specimens captured in the process are obscene and for those with a desire for horizontal drops, Sewelley’s end section is mental too. Don’t feel bad if you missed it either, because it’ll be dropping here on Stab in a couple days (more likely weeks considering how timely Drag are though).
After the premiere, Uber’s rolled up and the parents swung back to retrieve those underage and underprepared.
Those who left however were (un)fortunate enough to witness and take part in the Drag post-show presentation…
“A car got flipped, yeah it was pretty loose…” Chippa underplayed to Stab.
One minute you’re watching Chippa getting tubed on a stand-up boogie, the next you’re facing the full brunt of the law.
As expected, there were smashed bottles, shotgunned beers, early bailing for a Tinder root and even an elaborate backstory behind how the Drag team’s housemate initially wrangled the likes of Craig Anderson and more into the Drag bandwagon – incessant DM’s are the answer.
What wasn’t expected however was the aptly titled, “Drag Riots”.
“By the time I made it out the doors of Stoke, Bosley’s car was flipped on it’s side and some dude was skating on the roof of it.” Kane Grosvenor told us the next morning. “Maddog had been asking him to move it for a while, so Moot and Dorf saw this as the perfect opportunity to get the ball rolling.”
The Stoke Factory doesn’t exactly sit in the middle of town either, truthfully, it sits on the industrial outskirts, but that didn’t stop the cops from showing face.
“I think I counted six cop cars” confirmed Kane.
A bloke named Tom was arrested first up and then they followed up by arresting Moot – the carbine-cone surfer pictured above, thankfully, Moot was willing to release a statement the next day confirming his innocence:
“They cuffed me & threw me in the pie oven over night, dry camp of course, it was all mistaken identity though, at first glance in low light they thought I was related to Mark from Sheringa roadhouse. When they couldn’t get me with anything and before releasing me back into general population, they brought up about the upturned car. The police said “We understand the Drag street riots are just an evolutionary hangover from the BFC, but what we really wanna know is, who’s DORF?”
Tom, the first culprit, also had this to say for himself:
“I feel bad for Bosley, I’ve only met him a few times. He’s a nice guy! I got put in time out the whole night, the pricks wouldn’t even give me a lift to dominos to catch up with my mates when they let me out.”
We’re not sure who’s to blame for the Swan Street carnage on Thursday night, but we do know that the Designated Officer for Responsible Flipping (DORF) certainly wasn’t capable of performing his job properly.
Two arrests we’re never going to stop a partially depleted kick-on.
After a non-existent clean-up, the Drag-mobile was on pursuit to Newy and Byron. There weren’t any cops present for what was left of the tour, but from all accounts, there should’ve been.
“I’m back alive, Me, Rigga’s, Surfcore and Chippa went huge” said Maddog on his hazy Monday morning.
There aren’t anywhere near as many film-oriented blow outs as there should be these days, so it’s nice to see someone still holding the ‘surf-bogan’ flag high in this age of couch potatoes and double taps.
*In fact, the film still isn’t done – as those in attendance may have noticed. “We just gotta tweak two of the sections then we can drop it”.
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