Does Surfing Give You Tunnel Vision?

When I was young, I gave my family’s desktop computer a virus while attempting to illegally download a reggae/rock song I’d heard in a Rip Curl DVD that was delivered to my house in a plastic bag also containing a surf mag. 

[I recently confessed this on an episode of Stab’s The Drop podcast, where I’ve recently been tasked with delivering, and typically satirizing, the week’s surf news. One subscribe = one satire.]

Never liked that kind of music before. Haven’t been drawn to it since. And, if I had to guess, the song itself was not a particularly tasteful representation of what that musical genre as whole is capable of producing. 

It was fucking horrific. I liked it because Raioni Monteiro, of all people, landed a few good airs while it played.  

It’s strange, that power surfing has to sway our opinions. 

Like how, on paper, you probably wouldn’t want to visit a remote, malaria-affected part of the world to share a hot room with another person, where you’ll have a decent chance of experiencing digestive issues, and where you’ll constantly engage in a moderately dangerous activity knowing that help is very far away. 

Chuck in some good waves and that experience is referred to as a “dream trip.” 

Another, less extreme, more common, iteration of this phenomena is the fact that waking up before the sunrise to put on an often cold, sometimes damp rubber suit and jump in cold water is legitimately the only thing that could pry us out of bed at such an hour. 

It’s almost like we have tunnel vision, like we’re race horses wearing blinders. 

And the truth is, what’s on the other side of that tunnel is worth it 99% of the time. 

The other 1% gives your family computer viruses from Limewire. 

The Case For, And Likelihood Of, A Radically Different WSL Championship Tour

Large news this week! The Whistle (WSL) [World Surf League] released an official 2022 schedule that has the CT (Championship Tour) [The only thing that you watch] working in union with the CS (Challenger Series) [A fancier version of the QS, Qualification Series, where dreams meet guillotines]. It also includes the reinstatement of a mid-year cutoff. Jump in for everything you need to know, and learn why it’s likely impermanent. 

Watch Now: Dane Gudauskas’ Explore Your Mind 

Dane Gudauskas is a treasure. Nationally, globally, and certainly in his hometown of San Clemente, California, where his smiling face should be immortalized in a metallic sculpture and placed in a nearby museum. We’re pleased to air his new short film, in which he rides everything from a normal shortboard to a 4’2” to a 100-pound chunk of wood — and makes ‘em all look so fun. Oh, and read this interview with him if you want to view surfing from a more oblique angle. Worked for me. 

Opinion: Gabriel Medina Should Skip The Next Two CT Events

If this were a normal year, G. would arrive at the biggest moment in our sport — the clinching of the World Title — in some absurd way, like beating Leonardo Fioravanti in a Round 3 heat at the second-to-last event. Not this year, and not for the foreseeable future. This story explores how the new Finals format will change the way surfers approach the game. 

Side note: We published this the day before Gabe announced he wouldn’t compete at Teahupo’o, as he has decided against getting the COVID vaccine. This makes it impossible to compete in that event, thanks to Tahiti’s mandatory 10-day quarantine for unvaccinated surfers. 

The Two Olympic Winning Surfboards Were Designed 50 Feet Away From Each Other

Matt Biolas and Timmy Patterson are the minds behind surfing’s first-ever gold medal-winning surfboards. Coincidentally, their factories are so close that one could chuck a True Ames fin like a ninja star at the other. We called both of them to learn what kind of magic they put under the feet of Carissa and Italo, and if featured on national television sent demand to the moon. 

Vaccination Murmurs, Retirements, Pay Raises, And An XXL Challenge To The WSL!

Do you know how many ears we have at Stab? Probably like 20 or 30. It’s definitely an even number, as nobody has van Gogh’ed themselves, regardless of typical surf event commentary. Anyway those ears hear a lot of whispers, so we collated those whispers here. Click for some good ol’ fashioned gossip. 

Comment of the week 

Some people like the WSL’s new Finals format. Others hate it. However, WTSO distilled it all into a mathematical formula that nobody can question. 

One last thing: The surf etiquette signs you often see at the access points for popular beaches are perhaps the most pathetic, ignored, I don’t know what to tell you, we tried, devices in the world.