Do You Talk In The Lineup? - Stab Mag



Do You Talk In The Lineup?

The Misc: Half-spoken rules

news // Jul 26, 2021
Words by Brendan Buckley
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Surfing with friends is great. 

Some force you to paddle out in waves that cause your stomach to churn in an uncomfortable way. Some fill the lineup with laughter. Some make you try airs that are blatantly beyond your ability. Some do all of these things, and some just help pay for gas. 

It’s good to have a friend who always has a bar of wax. Sunscreen, too. Fin keys…

Carting an extra leash string around with you is cause for criminal investigation. The person who would do that is unwell. 

But anyway. Surfing with friends is funny because it’s horrible for conversation. 

This is most apparent when you’re mid-chat and a wave appears. In any other setting, for humans, suddenly walking away from someone while they are in the middle of talking to you is one of the most offensive things you can do. It’s unacceptable. Sociopathic. 

In surfing, it’s normal. 

Some people acknowledge it with a quick ‘hold on’ before paddling away. But I think it’s better when you don’t. When you stroke into a wave, half looking back at your friend, going ‘Uh huh, yeah,’ as if you are fully engaged in what they are saying before getting to your feet and disappearing. 

A good conversation will be picked back up when you reunite. Many conversations in the water are not, by this definition, good. 

The quality of a wave dictates the level of intimacy you’re allowed to remove yourself from. Like, if someone is revealing to you the details of a recent traumatic event and the wounds it inflicted upon them, a lil’ two-turn shimmy shimmy left isn’t going to cut it. But, the wave of the day on the day of the year? I am convinced that most of us would leave our best friends in tears for that. 

And they would understand. 

It’s just one of our game’s half-spoken rules. 

Why Surf Brands Aren’t Talking About The Olympics

The first call on surfing’s first-ever Olympics will be made in less than 24 hours (7AM Japan time on Sunday). Wondering why you haven’t seen any hype posts from the brands that invest millions of dollars into the surfers competing? It comes down to a rule which you can learn about above. Oh, and here’s our Olympic watch guide.

Biarritz Surf Gang 

Speaking of the Olympics, here’s a glimpse into the days when the world of surf was filled with a bunch of pirates who would fight, fuck, party, sometimes win competitons, and always offend the general ideals that the Olympic orginzation holds dear. This is a great documentary, and you can watch it on Stab Premium this weekend only. Get to it.

Watch Now: Albee Layer’s ‘Rainbows In The Rearview’

You remember walking into a surf shop, taking a deep breath, tasting the distinct mixture of neoprene/surf wax/maybe a bit of cannabis in the air, arriving at the counter, peering into the illuminated glass, considering buying that Dragon belt with a buckle featuring their logo, realizing that was a patently awful idea, then exchanging $25 for a DVD that you would eventually scratch after years of it scratching the information it contained into your brain? 
Surf movies deserve a special place in all of our hearts. Albee is helping keep them alive, and this one is a banger. Watch it above and read a full interview with Albee here.

Social Media Is Killing Surfing

Jed Smith wrote this piece about how social media is deleting some of the finer aspects of surf culture and configuring our world in a way that enables cowboy hacks to crowd the lineup at sacred waves. No good! But, there’s still hope…

If You Burn Someone On The Wave Of Your Life, Does It Still Count?

Earlier this week, Stab published a clip of a Coolangatta local burning someone at Kirra and proceeding to thread his way through a barrel that most of us would exchange a large amount of capital for, if we had the chance. It lit our Instragram on fire, so we caught up with Burning Man to see if he had any remorse. Hint: he did not. 

Comment of the week: 

Parko’s Middle Finger has held this grudge with burns since 2013. 

One last thing: 

Surfing a wave so small that it allows you to gather enough speed just to turn your board approximately sixty degrees is an experience that exposes the peculiarity of our addiction.


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

Live Now: Finals Day At Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy

The freshwater feud for Pro, Ladybird, and Bottle Rocket champion starts now.

Jun 22, 2024

Albee Layer Reluctantly Escapes Sudden-Death Round On Final Wave Of The Day, Advances to Day 2 of Stab High Japan 

“I just want to do my fucking wave, and then go home”

Jun 22, 2024

“Relax, It’s A Surf Contest In A Swimming Pool”

Our attempt at an unbiased comp wrap from afar, on Day One of Stab High…

Jun 22, 2024

Rasta Robb Gutter Stomps Backside Full-Rote, Scores a 3/50

Why wasn’t the reigning champ rewarded in heat 1 of Stab High Japan?

Jun 22, 2024

Full Replay: Day 1 of Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy

Click to watch (or rewatch) today's Qualifier and Sudden Death rounds.

Jun 21, 2024

Everything You Need to Know About The Most ‘Perfectly Imperfect’ Wave in the Mentawais

Tips from longtime HTs devotee, Liam Turner.

Jun 21, 2024

“You’re An Elite Freesurfer, I’m Just A Vlogger, Surely You Can Take Me Out”

King of Waco calls out Aussie freesurfers on Stab High live stream.

Jun 21, 2024

Please Don’t Do A Superman At Stab High Japan, Presented By Monster Energy 

Breaking down the best and worst airs, according to the stats. 

Jun 20, 2024

355 Days Later, We Still Don’t Know What Elo Did In Brazil

But here's your 2024 Rio Pro preview.

Jun 20, 2024

JJF + Medina To Continue Rampages In Brazil?

12x CT event winner and previous SITD pilot Taj Burrow says 'yes'.

Jun 19, 2024

Allow Us To Introduce The YETI Ladybirds And Bottle Rockets Of Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy

Here's our schoolyard pick for teams; who will win the most cred at the lunch…

Jun 17, 2024

Prediction: Moving The WSL Finals To Fiji Will Kill Off Two More Surfing Superstars

Is this JJF's time to collect his titles? We checked the stats.

Jun 17, 2024

Confirmed: Fiji To Host 2025 WSL Finals

Cloudbreak will remain on tour until 2026.

Jun 17, 2024

What’s The Secret To Powersurfing?

Taylor Knox, Kyuss King, and Jessi Miley-Dyer tackle a trio of questions in our third…

Jun 16, 2024

How To Win Stab High Japan, Presented By Monster Energy

A statistical analysis of the 493 airs attempted in previous chlorinated editions.

Jun 16, 2024

Watch: An Intimate Portrait Of The Wave, Village, And People At The End Of The Road

Oxbow’s ‘Children of Teahupo’o’ is playing exclusively on Stab Premium for the next two weeks. 

Jun 15, 2024

Fuck It, Run The Entire CT In Indo

A historic beginning to the Indonesian dry season.

Jun 14, 2024

Ferrari Boyz: Holly Wawn

"I've had 4, 5, maybe 6 cars... I'm a car dealer I reckon."

Jun 13, 2024
JUNE 22 & 23
-2 Days
21 Hours
26 Minutes
53 Seconds
Join Stab Premium