Stab Magazine | Can Anyone Stop Gabriel Medina At Rio? All Signs Point to No

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Can Anyone Stop Gabriel Medina At Rio? All Signs Point to No

James B’s Totally Biased Rio Report (Day Three). 

news // May 19, 2016
Words by James B
Reading Time: 5 minutes

A message from the author: After taking a look at my round two notes, I was amazed how soft James B was. C´mon, this is a biased Brazilian writing for an Australian website! It’s time to be 100 percent JB and really piss you guys off.

So, here we go. Oi Rio Pro, by James B:

First off, those Samsung ads! C´mon, this is the fourth event this year so whycan’t a multi-million dollar company at least give us the courtesy of releasing a fresh ad?

 And for all those who are constantly bitching about the Brazilian event, there’s an easy solution, boys! Take James B’s advice: If you don´t like it, go watch Dane Reynolds or Craig Anderson´s old edits on YouTube instead. We have a big enough Brazilian audience to keep happy. Also, we’re the land of the two last World Champs and I’m calling Brazil for the next five champs in the next six years… maybe we’ll give you Aussies or Americans one… maybe. 

Man, a lot of guys around here even criticise the energy and the madness of the crowd at the beach. Really? Rio’s audience is 100 times cooler and more exciting than the Bells crowd. For example, take a look at the Bells heat analyzer and watch poor Peter Mel trying to run a quick quiz and squeeze some emotion from those Victorian kids, you´ll see how bored those folks are. It was embarrassing. This is surfing, not golf! Our Brazilian passion is one of the best things that ever happened to the sport, and we are very proud of it! Now, here’s what James B took in from today’s action…

The first event after his injury, Filipe still hasn’t bounced back to his Quik Pro form on the GC. He looks solid, however.

Round Three:
Filipe Toledo is 21 years old and is already a smarter competitor than most his colleagues. He showed his dominance versus Jules Caesar’s roman Warrior, Leo Fioravanti, maintained priority and took the win.
And what about John John? He almost pulled another standard John John-heat-losing-mistake when he gave Alejo Muniz priority within the last two minutes. Alejo couldn’t bring it all together to beat the young Hawaiian, but a third loss to a Brazilian would tank Pyzel’s marketprice, unless you’re looking for a Waimea gun! However, JJF got the job done.

This is a collection of Medina’s airs from the event. He’s certainly in form and is favourite for the world title this year.

Caio Ibelli was in full rookie-of-the-year mode when he narrowed Australian superstar, Ryan Callinan’s re-qualification chances a little more. 

Dusty Payne! The guy’s finally surfing in the jersey the way he freesurfs. Nat Young didn’t stand a chance.
Stuart Kennedy v Davey Cathels, aka the clash of  Twin One and Twin Two. That was boring. That is all. 
Italo Ferreira is Brazilian storm’s new star! Did you read Italo’s fresh profile here. The kid’s big time and is Audi’s new ambassador. How cool? He moved straight to round four.

Melling took the current world number two.

And Seabass!! Brah, what happened? I was cheering for you! Losing to Twin Brother Three, Adam Melling, in a beachbreak after coming off a win at Margies isn´t a nice result at all.

Jack opened with the lead and never lost it.

Jack Freestone x Jordy Smith was the battle of super models, Alana took the win.

And Medina’s a beast. Watch out, the kid’s looking unbeatable. And the young Brazilian Deivid Silva will do a great job with the elite next year. Haters: If I told you the life story of Deivid, you’d gain serious respect for the kid…

Rounds four and five:
Easily the most important fact of round four and five was the amazing display of aerial surfing. From Medina’s backside reverse to a quick jam off the top for a 10 to Caio’s jetski driver trying to jump a strong closeout section with Caio on the back and almost killing the Brazzo. Can you say jetski-gate? (Question: does Brazil have the world tour’s worst ski drivers? – Ed)

Dusty’s starting to perform when the draw is rough and tough.

Round four, heat one, oh boy! We had a “super heat” on our hands! Featuring John John doing the same one foot air over and over again… hello, variety? Dusty surfed with more power and flow and won the heat. But then, Armageddon! Filipe wasn’t able to string it together and proceeded to lose to Davey Cathels after holding the lead until the last two minutes. Last year’s Rio champ found himself a round five exit. James B is not happy right now! Although I can’t help but respect an underdog victory.

The most hungry man on tour: Mr Adriano De Souza.

ADS’s game plan is well known. For those of you who don’t know, it’s surf the first good wave of the heat and then assume control ’til the end. Now he’s in the quarters, coming off a solid nine point ride and is looking hot. Mr Cathels and Ibelli looked like children next to the World Champ in round four. 

Miguel Pupo has a wonderful style (better than Parko’s in my opinion). But usually make so many heat mistakes that I get angry with him. He out-surfed Italo and Mello and is in the quarters. We’ll see if he can keep his competitive groove. 

Miggy went to work. Not flashy but punched the clock to victory.

And Jack Freestone stunted Italo in round five! Finally finding the form that got him on tour in the first place. Thanks Davey and Jack for making my evening look like shit! 

Lastly I’m pleased to bring you a new feature in this James B series, James B’s Favourite Comments of Day Two’s report:

Wiggolly’s Paddling Style
James B’s is one of the few people on earth I’d like to drive over with a harvester. He is a fuckwit. He writes like a child and is a fucking moron.

jack freestone’s MCL
Hey stab, why don’t you let people who speak fucking english write articles, not that James B’s rock dwelling grammar was any better than your usual shite writers

Noa’s last dart
What the fuck is this cunt, I’ve gone to bed and woken up in hell.

Tio Sam
Day 2 in loco

1. Surf was shit at Postinho. Shit shit shit. There is no point in arguing.

2. The gringos were surfing in a state of fright. I guess they were scared of finding a dead mule body floating in the line up. 

3. Medina x Italo semi is a sure thing.

4. Anyone complaining about bad food is either broke or an idiot. Dozens of great sushi and steak places within walking distance. 

5. An abundant amount of pussy ranging from 14 year old Medina fans to top model gold digger types. And amateur Backdoor Bonanza porn actresses. Something for everyone.

6. I saw Medina’s chick in person. He can do much better.

7. I saw Jaddy’s girl too. She can do much better.

8. The Backflip looks better on slow motion.

9. Micro is a farse
10. Rio is awesome

Round four results:
Heat 1: Dusty Payne 15.60, John John Florence 15.20, Filipe Toledo 10.40
Heat 2: Adriano de Souza 17.44, Davey Cathels 8.64, Caio Ibelli 4.57
Heat 3: Miguel Pupo 12.73, Italo Ferreira 12.50, Adam Melling 10.90
Heat 4: Gabriel Medina 18.10, Michel Bourez 7.90, Jack Freestone 7.77

Round five results: 
Heat 1: John John Florence 13.00 def. Caio Ibelli 10.17
Heat 2: Davey Cathels 15.67 def. Filipe Toledo 14.87
Heat 3: Jack Freestone 16.43 def. Italo Ferreira 10.10

Remaining Round five Match-Ups:
Heat 4: Michel Bourez vs. Adam Melling 

Quarterfinal Match-Ups:
Heat 1: Dusty Payne vs. John John Florence 
Heat 2: Adriano de Souza vs. Davey Cathels 
Heat 3: Miguel Pupo vs. Jack Freestone 
Heat 4: Gabriel Medina vs. TBD


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