Big Wave World Tour Steals The Show During Small Day In Portugal

What does this look like to you?

If you said a wave then guess what you’re stupid.

This is a liquid mountain so powerful it shakes the earth. It is sacred ground for those who live over the edge — which means it was culturally insensitive for you to even call it a wave to begin with and so now you are not only stupid but also a bigot.

And if you’re confused, please allow this video to explain.

Folks, the WSL’s Big Wave World Tour is back and more serious than ever. The Oi Meo Rip Curl Pro Portugal presented by Peter Mel ran six heats today, but it was this ad for the BWWT that really stole the show.

It seems as though the WSL finally took Eddie Rothman’s advice. If there’s anything that cowboys in Wyoming are interested in, it’s people trying to conquer sacred ground… so good on the WSL for responding to consumer demand.

Meanwhile, in the actual event, we saw competitors fight for their (professional) lives while trying to escape from the gaping jaws of Round 2. The waves were small and weak, but the competitors did what they needed to do to get by — wing dings on dang dangs so to speak.

Three notes:

Adriano de Souza loves surfing so much that he tried to ride a wave with only one knee. He is my new favorite surfer.

Two solid, but anti-climatic turns from Zeke Lau are apparently worth .33 more points than a rodeo flip from Pat Gudauskas. Interesting.

If the winner of Heat 8, Matt Wilkinson procreated with the winner of Heat 12, Frederico Morais, I think the baby would still be goofyfooted.

MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal Remaining Round 2 (H7-12) Results:
Heat 7: Joan Duru (FRA) 12.83 def. Adriano de Souza (BRA) 4.50
Heat 8: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 11.33 def. Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 10.83
Heat 9: Jeremy Flores (FRA) 12.50 def. Michael February (ZAF) 9.84
Heat 10: Patrick Gudauskas (USA) 11.10 def. Griffin Colapinto (USA) 10.66 
Heat 11: Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 13.26 def. Connor O’Leary (AUS) 8.36
Heat 12: Frederico Morais (PRT) 11.44 def. Yago Dora (BRA) 9.16

MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal Round 3 Matchups:
Heat 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)
Heat 2: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
Heat 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Matt Wilkinson (AUS)
Heat 4: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Frederico Morais (PRT) 
Heat 5: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
Heat 6: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Ryan Callinan (AUS)
Heat 7: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Joan Duru (FRA)
Heat 8: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
Heat 9: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Tomas Hermes (BRA)
Heat 10: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Patrick Gudauskas (USA)
Heat 11: Willian Cardoso (BRA) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS) 
Heat 12: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Ian Gouveia (BRA)