How A Broken Surfboard Made A Grown Man Cry
Waving goodbye to a delicious, tri-color pasta shaped by Matt Parker of Album.
As the former Senior Editor of Stabmagdotcommercial, I’ve had the pleasure of sampling and owning my fair share of surfboards.
I’ve forgotten about more than I recall. But, like anyone with an affinity for time spent in the brine, a few are unforgettable. One of that caliber popped in half at one of Los Angeles’ closeout-prone jetties this winter.
The board, shaped by Matt Parker of Album Surfboards, was my first plunge into the world of mid-ish length surfboards (a sister of the triplets reviewed here). The board, a drop-dead, tri-color pasta called the Townsend Twin, confirmed that I have no right strangling thrusters in waist to shoulder-high surf. It made me enjoy surfing in all conditions and went good in anything from waist high to the well-overhead. It carried the desired effect on the mental state riding a surfboard should; for the clinically depressed, this thing should’ve been prescribed.
And so, on the aforementioned pre-quarantine day in the South Bay, my Townsend Twin popped in two during what appeared to be shaping up as a rare solo session. One with the potential to rip through a couple of dirty tunnels, but mostly slip into overhead closeouts and hold on as long as they’d allow. On my second wave I swung late, pin-dropped, watched the curtain fall and planted in the sand. When the wrath of the northwest let me be, I tugged on my leash to reveal half of a once-elegant board.
I picked up the pieces, hung my head, and once in the parking lot, took a photo of the remains. Later, over champagne and OJ, sitting across from my girlfriend at a hip tapas joint in Marina del Rey, the thought of the board’s destruction and its symbolism of my final weeks as a full-time editor at Stab brought my eyes to water.
A broken surfboard had never cut so deep.
To cull my emotional fervor, I shot Matt Parker a text and followed it with a post to my personal Instagram (to all 600orso followers) and tagged @albumatt / @albumsurf… desperation to the utmost degree.
Matt, being the handsome gentleman that he is, offered to build me another. Suddenly a trade was in order, which is how you’ve gotten here. This is my last token, the last sled acquired through a Senior Editor title which I no longer hold.
Goodbye dedicated fanbase, politely say good riddance below!
Excitement, happiness, and a full heart took over and my eyes continued their contemplated liquidity. We split four pitchers of mimosas that morning and, like a little bitch, I passed out in the early afternoon.
I’m not going to tell you to buy anything but this specific shape has made surfing on a near-daily basis a far more enjoyable part of my life.
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