Andrew Doheny and the Hellish Nirvana of Mexico

Here’s Andrew Doheny getting barrelled again. But before you book your ticket, sort your life insurance policy, because Tom Carey has a tale that’s all Banged Up Abroad. “I was held up at gunpoint by a cartel that raided our house one time,” he says. “He put an AK47 to my head and then marched us around while they ate our food, showered and brushed their teeth with my toothbrush. They then showed us their grenades and drugs and tried to sell us some after taking all our money. It went from scary to downright weird. I even drank a beer with one of them at gunpoint. They made my buddy smoke a bunch of weed, he had too, as if it was laced. I thought I was a goner at one point and then thought I had a story for Nat Geo after.” Sorry it only landed here in Stab, Tom, but you’ve single-handled destroyed Mexican tourism. Gracias, señor.