The Popular Vote: The People's Stab In The Dark With Kolohe Andino Champion - Stab Mag

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Stab in the Dark with Vlad The Impaler (1431). Photo: OpenAI

The Popular Vote: The People’s Stab In The Dark With Kolohe Andino Champion

Which board looked best — to you —under Kolohe’s talons?

features // Mar 22, 2024
Words by Christian Bowcutt
Reading Time: 2 minutes

2 weeks ago, a few quiet murmurs danced around the inside of the historic La Paloma Theatre in Encinitas. DHD was just announced as the winner of Stab in the Dark with Kolohe Andino, but damn, that T.Patterson looked real good under Kolohe’s nimble digits too.

And then Darren Handley himself “I actually thought that Timmy’s looked pretty good as well. I thought that it held a longer turn than mine, which was nice.”

To be fair, the DHD not only led our Instagram poll, but also our ping-pong-ball-in-a-vase vote during the premiere — there’s no denying the blade looked sharp.

But, in an effort to not tax (Stab Premium) without some fair representation, we wanted to have a little fun and give some voting power back to the People.

As you know, Stab in the Dark is decided by blind taste test — Kolohe had to decide which board won purely by how it felt. The first time he saw clips of himself surfing these boards was the same time all of you saw them. And, I sat right behind Kolohe during the La Paloma premiere and heard him mutter “The T. Patt looks good” to his wife so… yeah, there is some nuance to massage out here.

This isn’t the first time a surfer was pleasantly surprised by how good a board looked when they saw the clips. If you recall, both Jack Robinson (2022) and Taj Burrow (2021) thought that the runner-ups looked better than they felt.

Darren Handley (left) and Timmy Patterson (right) scoping out each other’s candidates at La Paloma. Photo: Colin Leibold

All this to say, while there’s no great Kate Middleton-esque conspiracy brewing, there is room for different opinions about which piece of fiberglass-coated foam looked sexiest under Kolohe Andino’s barking dogs.

So, we are hereby declaring a popular vote and we are asking one question: Which Stab in the Dark board should’ve won — in your opinion — based solely on how good it looked under Kolohe’s feet?

Click Here To Cast Your Popular Vote


Click Here To Watch The Finale Of Stab In The Dark with Kolohe Andino


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