Bad Boy RyRy’s CT Venue Power Rankings

I’ve been surfing for 37 years. 

That is an embarrassing amount of time to still surf at an intermediate level. It’s like cry-yourself-to-sleep level embarrassing. I am your everyday surfer, the one with the growing waistline and receding hairline that tries to nudge north of thirty liters with every new board purchase.

Sound like you? It either already is, or it will be you soon enough. 

I do excel at watching others surf, though. Shameful, I know, but somebody has to sit on the beach dark till dark and take photos of all those beautiful men and women on the CT. I love eating, drinking, dancing, and sightseeing my way through World Tour destinations and have been doing it for over a decade. Friends and even strangers come to me all the time for travel advice for their once-a-year surf trip or honeymoon. 

I am uniquely positioned to help you with your next surf trip. Ask John John where you should go on a college reunion trip and you might never dip your toe in the lineup. Come over to my neck of the woods and we can drink some wine together, have a great meal on the cheap, and surf a bit as well. 

In the article below, I will rank the World Tour stops according to their full package for the average surfer. These are based equally on your ability to scratch your itch both in and out of the water. If you want to go somewhere not on tour to surf your brains out, then just do a boat trip to the Ments or go to Salina Cruz. You can stop reading now if that is your kink. 

The rest of you can dive in. I’ll be your fun tour commissioner. 

#10: Lower Trestles, California

Unless you are best friends with Kolohe (you’re not) and are going to split every wave with him, then Lowers is far and away the worst spot on tour for a surf trip. I couldn’t even imagine doing the 30-minute walk both ways down there only to get paddled around by every pro surfing fetus in San Clemente. It is possible — even likely — that you will put in a multi-hour session and never catch a single wave. 

#9: Bells Beach, Australia

If you look at the ratio of quality of waves to quality of surfers in a given town, Bells is a horrible option for the everyman and everywoman. The wave itself is amazing — just don’t ever fancy seeing yourself on one of them. Everyone in this town surfs better than you and only one wave comes through per hour. 

The food is overpriced, and bland would be a generous adjective. This year during the event, I think I went out to eat twice — both for breakfast. You’ll do a much better job cooking in your Airbnb. 

I think Bells is the only location I’ve ever consistently been to without haven’t even thought about going surfing. The locals can have it. 

#8: Margaret River, West Oz 

Yes, everywhere has sharks but nowhere else on tour do you think and talk about it every second of every day. The event got canceled in 2018 because some dude got chomped at an air wave a mile from the contest site. You’ll probably be fine, but it will be on your mind all day, every day. The variety and quality of waves is right up there with the best places in the world. The ability level of the average local surfer might be the best in the world, full stop, but they aren’t interested in handing you a ton of good waves. 

The scenery, water colors, and day trips to the vineyards are some of the best on tour. Once the vineyard lunch shuts down at 2 pm, that’s a wrap for your day if you aren’t surfing. Going out on the town consists of a bottle of wine on the beach and watching the sunset. Amazing place to live, even better place to skip when planning a surf trip. 

#7: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Sure, you will walk across the beautiful white sand beaches to surf and you will absolutely have a blast at the beach breaks, but all the real action is on land. No one comes here for the waves. You’re coming for the drinking, dancing, food, and tan glistening bodies on the beach. Whatever your sex kink is, you’ll find it in Rio. You are here for the best churrascaria meal of your life, the caipirinhas, and dancing till sunrise. Oh, and did I mention all the hot men and women on the beach?

#6: La Libertad, El Salvador  

If you’re poor, regular-foot, love surfing in board shorts, and live in the Americas, then El Salvador is the place for you. Prices are dirt-cheap, the food is decent, and you’ll surf your brains out. Don’t expect to do much else here, as just walking around town is dangerous. Surf, eat, sleep, repeat. That’s the goal. Plus, you can do it all on your McDonald’s salary now that your entire crypto portfolio has gone to zero. 

#5: Peniche, Portugal 

The wine. Oh my god, the wine. France would top the list here (if it was still on tour), but the Douro region of Portugal is a very close second. The food is below average, so there is no need to mess with any of that — just drink wine for all of your calories on this trip.

Portugal has just about everything you could want in terms of waves. Big, small, lefts, right, airs, carves, beach breaks, reefs, points. Everything. In order to score, you’re gonna have to put a lot of miles on that rental car and fill it with stinky wet wetsuits. You’re also gonna get your ass kicked by the wind and rain. 

Outside of Lisbon, you will be hard-pressed to find an inspiring meal or night out in the town. Don’t bring your partner here unless you’re coming in summer when the waves are shit. This is a surf turkey location.

#4: Teahupo’o, Tahiti 

When my goofy-foot friends ask me where to go on a surf trip, Tahiti tops my list for spots on tour. They often look at me like I have a dick growing out of my forehead. Like, why am I fucking with them trying to send them to Teahupo’o? They’ve seen the photos and want nothing to do with that wave. 

However, they never see all the small days where the waves are super fun, and it doesn’t have enough juice to get the locals out of bed. Tahiti is a great spot to push yourself incrementally over the course of a trip. You’ll most likely end up scrubbing your reef cuts with lime, but maybe, just maybe, you’ll luck into the best barrel of your life. 

The food, culture, and scenery are like nothing you have ever seen. It’s like going back in time 100 years to Jurassic Park. You really have to go to experience it all. You will stay at a family’s house, and they will make your meals for you, which is included in the price. There is no other experience like this on tour. 

#3: J-Bay, South Africa

Advanced intermediates need only apply at J-Bay. The wave is super fast and hard to read. Less skilled surfers can still have a blast at the other waves in the vicinity. If you’re not a prick, the locals are super cool here. If you wait your turn, you can probably even pick off a set at one of the best waves in the world. Variety is the biggest drawback, along with the frigid water and men in a gray suits. 

Everything else about South Africa — eating, drinking, culture, non-surfing activities, and pricing — makes it one of the best places in the world. I thought I was going to throw up at the airport this year because I was so sad to leave. It truly is a special place. 

#2: G-Land, Indonesia

G-Land by itself is the most hardcore surf-only destination I have ever been to. If just riding waves and getting sunburned is your thing, then this place is for you. Crowds are thin on your average day, and you might just end up surfing alone at times. Bring a massive book because there ain’t shit else to do here. 

No trip to G-Land is complete without transiting through Bali. This is where the fun tour starts. Make sure to budget in a few days of hedonism on the front and back end of your trip. Bali is pound-for-pound the most fun surf destination on tour. When G-Land ended this year, I literally swam in the dark out to a boat to get back to Bali faster. 

#1: North Shore, Oahu  

The North Shore might just be the most diverse zone for waves in the entire world. I’ve pushed my daughter into small rollers, then driven 10 minutes to watch people getting some of the biggest tubes of the year in the same morning. Wherever your surfing ability lies on the scale of Zuckerburg to Slater, there is something here for you. Just because there is a wave suited for your ability doesn’t mean someone will give you one, though. Expect to struggle at the premier breaks. I’ve often found plenty of success surfing lesser-known waves, or the main waves at the wrong size. Think: Pinballs, which is the inside at Waimea, or Pipe when it isn’t barreling. 

Hawaii is home to some of the best food on tour. From inexpensive eats at Pupukea Grill to the best sushi of your life in Honolulu, this melting pot of cultures has blended food from all over the world together well. The party scene is virtually nil. Pack your hiking boots and snorkel instead of your little black dress and you’ll be just fine. 

The biggest negative for Hawaii is the price. If you want to do it right or just not be miserable, prepare to sell some Tesla stocks or get a second loan on your house.