This Is What Would Happen If Black's Beach Ate Liver King Steroids And Took Ice Baths - Stab Mag


Jordy Collins. Lots of rubber on him, lots of water above him, and lots of big fish below him. Frame: Cameron Vurbeff

This Is What Would Happen If Black’s Beach Ate Liver King Steroids And Took Ice Baths

A pumping six-minute postcard from the Pacific Northwest.

elsewhere // Dec 21, 2022
Words by Christian Bowcutt
Reading Time: 2 minutes

The last time we heard the name “Jordy Collins” was over two years ago — when Stab interviewed him before he vanished to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in landlocked Missouri.

“When I first got back my body was destroyed.” Jordy said of his aquatic comeback. “My ribs were shot. I couldn’t land an air because my knees were blowing out. So I knew I could hack the system by jumping off a ski and just standing in some barrels. [laughs]”

So he set off with fellow system hackers Kieran Anderson and Cameron Vurbeff to a destination far north of the norm. Kieran and Jordy took turns surfing and driving the ski while Cameron snuck into the backyards of abandoned vacation homes to get a proper camera angle. But the mainframe proved to be more difficult to hack than they imagined.

The first puzzle piece was having to practice a little diplomacy to be able to drive a ski, surf, and film it all in a such a notoriously localized area. “Luckily, Kieran is pretty dialed in with the locals up there.” Jordy said. “We spoke to a few of them when we arrived and they were friendly. They said we were welcome to film but to just be careful.” The word “careful” is a loaded term in the quixotic world of Wild West surf politics.

Kieran loading up the mechanic steed. Jordy loading up the courage to take a twin fin out there. Photo: Cameron Vurbeff

The second obstacle was figuring out the spot. “The water is frigid and the waves were really solid. But the real reason you won’t see people out in the clips is that many ski-teams were surfing a nearby spot that I will not name. We wanted barrels though and struggled at first to get it dialed with the current and lack of a defined sandbar.”

The third challenge was related to a big fish. “The locals told us that it’s as sharky as it gets right now. A river empties into this spot and there was a Salmon run going on. The sharks were apparently hanging out there.” Jordy said. “Our first session there, I caught a wave and was paddling back out and something big splashed next to me. I saw the big, upright fin poke out of the water and I sprint paddled to the ski. It had been hunting me.”

Jordy continued. “We had just started surfing and the waves were getting really good. We just decided we wouldn’t fall [laughs]. We’d catch a wave and then hop to our bellies and ride into two feet of water to get picked up by the ski to not risk another shark run-in”

But after some perseverance (two years of knocking doors as a missionary will teach you that) and some “really close jet ski rescues”, the three-piece squadron bagged a myriad of clips well worthy of six minutes of your life. There are barrels, turns, and even a cheeky air. But mostly barrels. Scary, large, freezing barrels.


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

Live Now: Finals Day At Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy

The freshwater feud for Pro, Ladybird, and Bottle Rocket champion starts now.

Jun 22, 2024

Albee Layer Reluctantly Escapes Sudden-Death Round On Final Wave Of The Day, Advances to Day 2 of Stab High Japan 

“I just want to do my fucking wave, and then go home”

Jun 22, 2024

“Relax, It’s A Surf Contest In A Swimming Pool”

Our attempt at an unbiased comp wrap from afar, on Day One of Stab High…

Jun 22, 2024

Rasta Robb Gutter Stomps Backside Full-Rote, Scores a 3/50

Why wasn’t the reigning champ rewarded in heat 1 of Stab High Japan?

Jun 22, 2024

Full Replay: Day 1 of Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy

Click to watch (or rewatch) today's Qualifier and Sudden Death rounds.

Jun 21, 2024

Everything You Need to Know About The Most ‘Perfectly Imperfect’ Wave in the Mentawais

Tips from longtime HTs devotee, Liam Turner.

Jun 21, 2024

“You’re An Elite Freesurfer, I’m Just A Vlogger, Surely You Can Take Me Out”

King of Waco calls out Aussie freesurfers on Stab High live stream.

Jun 21, 2024

Please Don’t Do A Superman At Stab High Japan, Presented By Monster Energy 

Breaking down the best and worst airs, according to the stats. 

Jun 20, 2024

355 Days Later, We Still Don’t Know What Elo Did In Brazil

But here's your 2024 Rio Pro preview.

Jun 20, 2024

JJF + Medina To Continue Rampages In Brazil?

12x CT event winner and previous SITD pilot Taj Burrow says 'yes'.

Jun 19, 2024

Allow Us To Introduce The YETI Ladybirds And Bottle Rockets Of Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy

Here's our schoolyard pick for teams; who will win the most cred at the lunch…

Jun 17, 2024

Prediction: Moving The WSL Finals To Fiji Will Kill Off Two More Surfing Superstars

Is this JJF's time to collect his titles? We checked the stats.

Jun 17, 2024

Confirmed: Fiji To Host 2025 WSL Finals

Cloudbreak will remain on tour until 2026.

Jun 17, 2024

What’s The Secret To Powersurfing?

Taylor Knox, Kyuss King, and Jessi Miley-Dyer tackle a trio of questions in our third…

Jun 16, 2024

How To Win Stab High Japan, Presented By Monster Energy

A statistical analysis of the 493 airs attempted in previous chlorinated editions.

Jun 16, 2024

Watch: An Intimate Portrait Of The Wave, Village, And People At The End Of The Road

Oxbow’s ‘Children of Teahupo’o’ is playing exclusively on Stab Premium for the next two weeks. 

Jun 15, 2024

Fuck It, Run The Entire CT In Indo

A historic beginning to the Indonesian dry season.

Jun 14, 2024

Ferrari Boyz: Holly Wawn

"I've had 4, 5, maybe 6 cars... I'm a car dealer I reckon."

Jun 13, 2024
JUNE 22 & 23
-2 Days
20 Hours
10 Minutes
17 Seconds
Join Stab Premium