Grab An Ophthalmic Speculum And Let This Twin Fin Clip Sear Your Retinas
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Grab An Ophthalmic Speculum And Let This Twin Fin Clip Sear Your Retinas

Shane Borland has something to show you.

elsewhere // Feb 13, 2022
Words by Jack Mutschler
Reading Time: < 1 minutes

The ophthalmic speculum is a device that ophthalmologists use to pry patients’ eyelids open, and an opthalmologist is an eye doctor who performs surgical treatments for eye conditions.

Optometrists are also eye doctors, but they’re kind of stupid science bitches. They examine, diagnose, and treat eyes, but they do not perform surgery. 

 In terms of riding a twin fin, Shane Borland is an ophthalmologist. He gets his rail dirty and positions himself deeper than your girlfriend’s NuvaRing. Plus, that air attempt at 1:38 made my stomach churn.

My tummy hurted because I’m a keel-finned optometrist. I don’t perform surgical procedures in the surf; I examine and diagnose others who do, like Shane. He does roundhouse cutties to air reverses, and I design sweet YouTube thumbnails.

Schedule your appointment with Dr. Borland here.

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