Rhode Island’s Wealthiest Karens Resort To Legal Action Because They Absolutely Despise Surfers
Photo by Nick Haase/Warm Winds

Rhode Island’s Wealthiest Karens Resort To Legal Action Because They Absolutely Despise Surfers

A beach town is being sued for allowing public parking near a popular wave.

Words by Jack Mutschler

Millionaires along the coast of Narragansett, RI have officially reached the pinnacle of having way too much time on their hands. 

Local surfers claim that the area was once a small beach town full of friendly residents that welcomed parking in front of their tiny shacks. Those small homes have since been replaced with mansions, and the new occupants aren’t as welcoming.

After receiving numerous complaints from the homeowners and parking tickets from police, the surfers created a petition asking the town to build designated street parking. The petition worked, and public parking along three local roads was allowed, but the unnecessary drama didn’t stop there.

The homeowners are now suing the town because it “violated their due process rights under the Rhode Island Constitution.”

According to Boston Globe:

Despite happening mostly over Zoom, the debate was lengthy and at times heated. Now it’s tied up in litigation: Some nearby homeowners say the council’s move was illegal and, therefore, null and void. Their lawsuit effectively seeks to have the courts block newly formalized parking access on three streets near the shore because, they say, the town violated their due process rights under the Rhode Island Constitution.

“In addition thereto,” the lawsuit goes on, “the enactment of the Parking Ordinance violates the Town’s Subdivision Regulations and the Town Charter of the Town of Narragansett.”

The lawsuit includes pictures of surfers clogging local roads and assertions about how wide a street needs to be to allow parking to safely co-exist with ambulances and fire trucks. 

The homeowners claim that they don’t mind sharing the shore, but they do care about things like people leaving trash or surfers stripping their clothes off in public. The trash thing is understandable, and those leaving their shit behind should be executed at once.

But as for the view of respectful surfers wiggling into wetsuits underneath a towel, here’s a solution: Grab the remote to your motorized blinds, push the down arrow, and enjoy your miserable existence in peace, Karen.

Read the full story here.

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