Rhode Island’s Wealthiest Karens Resort To Legal Action Because They Absolutely Despise Surfers
39563 Views
Photo by Nick Haase/Warm Winds

Rhode Island’s Wealthiest Karens Resort To Legal Action Because They Absolutely Despise Surfers

A beach town is being sued for allowing public parking near a popular wave.

Words by Jack Mutschler

Millionaires along the coast of Narragansett, RI have officially reached the pinnacle of having way too much time on their hands. 

Local surfers claim that the area was once a small beach town full of friendly residents that welcomed parking in front of their tiny shacks. Those small homes have since been replaced with mansions, and the new occupants aren’t as welcoming.

After receiving numerous complaints from the homeowners and parking tickets from police, the surfers created a petition asking the town to build designated street parking. The petition worked, and public parking along three local roads was allowed, but the unnecessary drama didn’t stop there.

The homeowners are now suing the town because it “violated their due process rights under the Rhode Island Constitution.”

According to Boston Globe:

Despite happening mostly over Zoom, the debate was lengthy and at times heated. Now it’s tied up in litigation: Some nearby homeowners say the council’s move was illegal and, therefore, null and void. Their lawsuit effectively seeks to have the courts block newly formalized parking access on three streets near the shore because, they say, the town violated their due process rights under the Rhode Island Constitution.

“In addition thereto,” the lawsuit goes on, “the enactment of the Parking Ordinance violates the Town’s Subdivision Regulations and the Town Charter of the Town of Narragansett.”

The lawsuit includes pictures of surfers clogging local roads and assertions about how wide a street needs to be to allow parking to safely co-exist with ambulances and fire trucks. 

The homeowners claim that they don’t mind sharing the shore, but they do care about things like people leaving trash or surfers stripping their clothes off in public. The trash thing is understandable, and those leaving their shit behind should be executed at once.

But as for the view of respectful surfers wiggling into wetsuits underneath a towel, here’s a solution: Grab the remote to your motorized blinds, push the down arrow, and enjoy your miserable existence in peace, Karen.

Read the full story here.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Stab Podcast: An Event We Passionately Debated For The Past 12 Months

Feedback from the WSL Finals, slaps of justice, and a Russian SUP parade.

Sep 17, 2021

5:59

Joyride Board Test: The LSD Hammer

Amateur surfer rides Noa Deane's prized step-up at Kirra and The Box.

Sep 17, 2021

20:40

Red Bull No Contest, Mexico: A Surfer’s Guide To Scoring Like A Local In Southern Mexico

Inside Barra de la Cruz culture with Mateus Herdy and Rio Waida.

Sep 16, 2021

Fourteen World Titles Worth Of Wisdom, Unpacked

What we learned from listening closely to Mick and Kelly during the WSL Finals.

Sep 16, 2021

5:03

Watch: Jack Robinson Wastes No Parts Of The Buffalo

Five minutes from Western Australia's finest.

Sep 16, 2021

The Connection Between Growing Up Poor And Going On To Win World Titles

“The wealthier a town gets, the fewer really good surfers you’ll find in the water.”

Sep 15, 2021

WSL Finals Review: “I Don’t Condone (Most) Crimes, But A Helicopter And A Giant Magnet Would Make For One Incredible Heist”

Lowers was an absolute shit-show yesterday. A report from the ground.

Sep 15, 2021

Filipe Toledo May Or May Not Be The Ultimate Surfer

Episode 7 is a wrap, find out who's advancing to tomorrow's finale.

Sep 15, 2021

10 Questions With S.U.R.F. Winner Jake ‘Money Making Machine’ Vincent

How did Vinny blow his 10 G’s?

Sep 15, 2021

Carissa Moore and Gabriel Medina Are Your 2021 World Champions Of Surfing

As it should be.

Sep 14, 2021

A King Amongst Medinas: Inside Gabriel’s World Title Winning 2021

How a former South Sydney demolition man helped mastermind Gabriel Medina's Title campaign.

Sep 14, 2021

2021 WSL Finals: Live Coverage And Updates

Leave the best comment, win a free surfboard.

Sep 14, 2021

The Best WSL Event You Never Heard Of

No electricity. No running water. No wifi and no pins dropped. The Namakwa Challenge was…

Sep 14, 2021

This Is What Happens When You Steal Surfboards In Portugal

"The best type of punishment for them is not by the law."

Sep 13, 2021

Where Are Wavepools Taking Us?

Spunk-riddled cesspools or gladiatorial entertainment venues that benefit surf culture?

Sep 13, 2021

Don’t Talk To Strangers 

The Misc: On nodding terms. 

Sep 12, 2021

Everything You Never Knew You Wanted To Know About Surfing In The Great Lakes

A Michigan-born surfer returns home and breaks it down.

Sep 11, 2021

Exclusive: Kelly Slater Reveals His WSL Finals Favorites

"I hope ____ takes it because he put in the work, but my gut says…

Sep 11, 2021
Advertisement