Nathan Florence And Koa Rothman Hatch New Podcast With Comedy Giant Bert Kreischer - Stab Mag

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Nathan Florence And Koa Rothman Hatch New Podcast With Comedy Giant Bert Kreischer

‘I follow this motherfucker. He’s gorgeous.’

elsewhere // Sep 12, 2022
Words by August Howell
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Bert Kreischer is a famous comedian whose career was propelled by a viral stand-up set that earned him a moniker of the same name. But The Machine, whose body and workouts are often the meat and potatoes of his material, is an enthusiastic observer of Nathan Florence and the way he tosses iron all over his vlog. 

Bert got a firsthand look at Hawaiian culture during his stint with the Travel Channel and comes across as a genuine fan of surfing. While much of his experience is shaped by Jamie O’Brien vlogs, he’s also done a podcast with Kamalei Alexander, who’s more core than a koa tree. 

But it’s the weekly YouTube content from Nathan and Koa Rothman that has captured the Florida man’s attention in recent years. He loves the “great, good energy dudes” and actually seems interested in their profession and skillset. He’s also convinced Nathan and Koa could (and should) start a hilarious podcast together.

So after a sweltering workout at Sunset Elementary School last week, Bert sat the two gents down for his own podcast on the sweltering balcony of his Turtle Bay room. After roughly 90 minutes of beers, belches and booming laughter, here are a few of the interesting tidbits and knee-slappers and we found:

— 4:49 Bert: “That workout was fucking stupid. I hope Nathan’s listening right now. It was the fucking hardest workout I’ve ever done in my entire fucking life. It was undoable at points. I pay a trainer, I work out. It was like Nathan was like I’m going to show you what pain is.”

— 17:20 Bert: “I bet you guys look at this wave (Turtle Bay) is the way I look at a coffee shop with an open mic. Yeah, I’ll pass.”

— 21:00 Koa on the post-session party: “It’s such an adrenaline dump. It’s like, I just have to start drinking. Oh my god, I’m alive and have to celebrate no matter where we are.”

— 22:52 Nathan on the potential end of a big-wave career: “We’ve both agreed, even now, we’re nearing (the end date). It’s like a cat losing its lives. Every swell you get away with is one step closer to something. They’re so dangerous and sketchy, it’s getting to the point where you’re like, I don’t want to do this forever.”

— 37:35 Nathan on being an avid fantasy reader: “I read a lot of Stephen King, Brandon Sanderson, Jeff VanderMeer. If you don’t know these authors, you’d relate them to Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones type of books. There are so many more series out there that I believe are better.” 

— 48:06 Bert: “You ever look at someone on Instagram and think ‘That dude looks old as fuck’ and he’s married to one of your ex-girlfriends?”

Nathan: “We’re not at that age yet. We’re looking at you like that.” (laugher)

— 59:15 Bert: “I knew of Shane Dorian, but I didn’t know much about him until I heard him on (Joe) Rogan. This guy is a badass. Then I watched him take a kid out to Jaws for the first time. The way he did it I thought was so cool. I’ll never be able to do that with a child, like ‘Come up on stage with me. Take your shirt off.” 

— 1:00:35 Koa: “(Eimeo Czermak) is such a good surfer. And a really nice dude.”

Bert: “I follow this motherfucker. He’s gorgeous. I followed this guy in the gayest way possible.” 

— 1:02:08 Bert on Mikey February: “I don’t know anything about this dude, but when he surfs, it’s like a painting.”

Nathan: “Mikey has some wild stories about growing up (in South Africa). He told me one time about surfing a wave, hiking out on a trail, and while he’s hiking out he feels a bit of wind behind him. Out of instinct, he turned and ducked with his board and a machete thunked into his board. Someone was about to machete the back of this guy’s head after he surfed, he’s leaving, and mug him for his stuff.” 

Bert: “Oh, I thought it was the lineup protocol. I’m like, man, they’re really strict about their lineups.”

This man lost 20 pounds so he could surf the wave in the background. Jokes aside, good on ya, Bert.

— 1:05:23 Bert: “I’m not going to bring up names because you might think these guys are fucking fools, but they’re twins who own a health food store on the North Shore. Good looking dudes.”

Nathan: “Are you talking about Sunrise Shack? Koa’s a part owner.”

Bert: “Goddamnit. I’m really bad at details.”

— 1:07:09 Bert: “Poopies was like, ‘I’ll teach you how to surf. Good thing about going out with me is you can guarantee you won’t get attacked by a shark. No one gets attacked twice!’”

— 1:13:04 Bert: “To the layman’s eye, I don’t think people see a difference. I don’t know if someone can tell what makes a really great surfer.”

Nathan “You can be so-so at surfing,  but if you’re really good at content and capture people’s attention, in their head you’re the best surfer in the world. But they don’t see the guy that maybe is technically the best but does no content, so nobody knows he’s the best surfer. They just see me or Koa on YouTube every week putting out episodes and think, these guys are fucking on.”

— 1:14:32 Nathan: “It feels like the ocean is catering to (Kelly Slater). John (Florence) and Jamie have the same ability where they’re so in tune with the water they’re putting themselves in the position where the wave is going to be before it comes in. But to us, it looks like the ocean is giving them everything.”

— 1:31:57 Koa: “What did you think of the workout today?”

Bert: “You ever see gay porn and go wow, that looks like it would hurt? It’s the same thing.”

— 1:36:16 Bert: “You guys make me giggle hard as fuck. Just start a podcast.”

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