“I Went Out Paddle Boarding And A Hard Wind Is Pushing Me Out To Sea” - Stab Mag

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“I Went Out Paddle Boarding And A Hard Wind Is Pushing Me Out To Sea”

Apple has officially entered surfing.

elsewhere // Jan 6, 2022
Words by Brendan Buckley
Reading Time: < 1 minutes

Apple is the biggest company in the world. 

Surfing is the biggest sport that Kelly Slater competes in, in the world (by far). There has been some flirting between the two giants in the past. A little Zak Noyle iPhone shot here, a little Surfline Rewind thing there, you know the dance you horny ol’ dog you. However, most have been left scratching their heads, wondering when the two would unite properly. 

The time has finally arrived. Today, we present you with this advertisement. 

If you’re an absolute psychopath of impatience, skip to 0:07.

Surfing, as we all know from that Jeep ad, does not just occur on thrusters ranging from 5’6” to 6’2”. It also happens on stand-up paddleboards. Sometimes when a hard wind is blowing. 

Thank God for Apple. But not the apple that Eve fed Adam, forcing us to live in a world of sin and suffering and SUPers wearing Apple Watch Series 7s.

Click here to buy.


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