An Eccentric Surf Event (In Florida, Naturally) - Stab Mag

Live Now — Episode 2 Of S.U.R.F. California Presented By Sun Bum & Kona Big Wave

66 Views
Step into a paradigm where fun boards and purple wigs are lucrative. Photos: Gunner Hughes

An Eccentric Surf Event (In Florida, Naturally)

Where tackling your opponent is a scoring maneuver and $100 bills rain from the sky.

elsewhere // May 18, 2022
Words by Zander Morton
Reading Time: 2 minutes

You know the old cliche: “the best surfer is the one having the most fun?”

Yeah, well, that’s bullshit at a professional surf contest. Fun doesn’t win money. At least not until last Saturday, at the Saint Augustine Pier in Florida, where Fat Tire revived a two decades old surf contest concept called the Single Fin Hoe Down, wherein a bunch of talented surfers — men and women, shortboarders, longboarders, pros and local rippers alike — compete in a single division on boards of every shape and size, so long as they only have one fin. All for $10,000 in cash.

‘Twas a single fin affair. Photo: Gunner Hughes

For the Hoe Down concept, “compete” was a loose term. Drop-ins were OK. Bad attitudes resulted in immediate disqualification and any sort of heat strategy was a sure way not to make your heat. Wigs and costumes were encouraged. And while good surfing was still the main focus, there were many other ways to make money. Like a WWE takedown on a surfboard. Or ripping in a way-too-revealing speedo.

Contest director/head judge Chris Ropero started the morning with pockets brimming with cash, sending $100 bills flying on the spot for anything he deemed deserving from the first heat through to the final. All the while, the day raised over 5k for two very deserving charities: Task Force Hydro1 and SurfearNegra.

Some legitimate surfing. Photo: Darby Moore

By the end of the comp, the field of 40 was down to 10, including pro surfers Noah Schweizer, Cody Thompson, Chauncey Robinson, and Sally Cohen (all the way from Hawaii), as well as former-CT’er Gabe Kling, and local legends Josh Autrey and Alex Hobbs. The waves for the final were pumping (by Florida standards), looking something like a small day at Upper Trestles, and so the surfers (mostly) dropped the costumes in favor of actual legitimate single fin surfing.

At the end of the final, Noah walked away $3000 richer for riding a retro-inspired diamond tail shaped by Ken White the same way he would his normal thruster: blowing tail down the beach, linking old-school turns with style and flair.

A tasty metallic treat. Photo: Gunner Hughes

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Imagine Getting Coned All Day And Then Properly Hydrating Yourself Late Into The Night

Good news: The Quiksilver Festival, presented by Swatch, is back! And Slater says he's coming.

Sep 9, 2024

Mateus Herdy On How Soccer Culture Stormed Brazil’s Surfing Fanbase + Rawdogging The Changaz Sans Sponsorship

‘Brazilians come from a soccer culture where yelling at refs and being aggressive is normal.’

Sep 9, 2024

The World’s Most Overrated Waves

What bucket list surf spots join champagne, lobster, anal sex, and picnics?

Sep 8, 2024

“I’m Glad I Was Wrong”

Why the hell did anyone think John John Florence and Caity Simmers were the underdogs?

Sep 7, 2024

Caity Simmers And John John Florence Are Your 2024 World Champions Of Surfing

"All is right in the surfing universe": JJF wins first Title since 2017 and Caity…

Sep 6, 2024

2024 WSL Finals — Live Updates, Commentary, Betting Talk, And Conjecture

Best comment wins a free surfboard. Best surfing wins a free World Title.

Sep 6, 2024

Watch: More Uncut Warm-Ups With John Florence, Italo Ferreira, Jack Robinson, And More

Seven additional minutes of section demolition from the eve of the WSL Finals

Sep 5, 2024

Everything We’ve Seen, Heard, And Learned This Week At Lower Trestles

A WSL Final 5 preview.

Sep 5, 2024

“I Could See Italo Winning A World Title, Which Is Kinda Heavy”

Unapologetic West Australian Yadin Nicol makes his Final 5 BOAG picks. 

Sep 5, 2024

S.U.R.F. California Presented by Sun Bum and Kona Big Wave, Episode 2

Dane Reynolds, Frankie Harrer, Jake Kelley, Micky Clarke, $100, cases of beer, and "Jesus riding…

Sep 4, 2024

Watch: Raw Footage Of Ewing, Griff, Caroline, And More Warming Up For The WSL Finals

Eight minutes of unfiltered footage for your viewing pleasure.

Sep 4, 2024

Unsolicited Advice From Men

As told by Caity Simmers, Felicity Palmateer, Sachi Cunningham and more of surfing’s leading women.

Sep 4, 2024

Carissa Moore, Shane Dorian, Taj Burrow, Julian Wilson, And More Make Their 2024 World Title Predictions

"Without Filipe at Lowers, I think Ethan will simply look too powerful, technical and polished…

Sep 3, 2024

Full Frame: Bruce Is Back

"He was so psyched about getting that barrel — it was like seeing Bruce from…

Sep 3, 2024

Field Notes From A Rocking Boat At Singing Sultans

Here’s how Taj Burrow took out his third Four Seasons Maldives Trophy yesterday.

Sep 2, 2024

Can Doing The Bare Minimum Win A World Title?

The intriguing gap between surfers' average heat scores and their overall competitive success.

Sep 2, 2024

What’s The Hardest Wave To Paddle?

Russell Bierke, Nathan Florence + Soli Bailey help us decide — and explain what surfing…

Sep 1, 2024

Deep Dive: The One Boardshort That Ruled Them All

How Hurley Phantoms stretched into vogue acc to the guy that made 'em.

Sep 1, 2024
Advertisement