Joel Parkinson, cannonball at Snapper, Gold Coast

Doesn’t matter how y’spin it, Joel Parkinson’s been ox-like at Snapper (as in, strong as!). “Now that’s surfing like a world champ!” screamed an off-duty member of the Quiksilver Pro ski-patrol, as Joel loosened his fin repeatedly on one wave in round five for 10 point ride. “I got stitched-up from the local knowledge thing with Parko,” said Julian Wilson, who was sitting out the back at the time, watching his opponents’ fins seal his fate. “Parko just scraped into it. He got on and I thought he’d be too deep, but the side wedge off the rocks just pushed him around the section, then… 10 points. That was the only actual good wave in that heat, and Joel got it.” Y’can put that down to countless hours Joel’s spent, picking growers off from behind the rock.

But more pertinently for the sequence y’see above, let’s, for a moment, discuss how fine the line between glory and bust is. In round three against Yadin Nicol, Joel hucked this helicopter, fourth wave into the heat. Keen viewers may notice Joel regaining balance in the last frame. But, he’s just a little too far off the back and couldn’t get traction. So, what could’ve easily been an 8-point ride, is now marked in the heats-on-demand timeline as a “Wipeout”. Of course, Joel still ended up winning with a 13.50 combined heat-total. Next he’ll face Jordy Smith, maybe tomorrow – a fact well-documented by local media: “Look out Jordy,” read the headline on the Gold Coast Bulletin sports page. “Perfect Parko fired up for Snapper grudge match.” Sensationalism! Yipe!