Stab Magazine | Death Row, with Kalani Robb

Now Unlocked: Chippa Wilson Stars In "Zipper"

8 Views

Death Row, with Kalani Robb

Say your prayers Kalani Robb Last phone call: I’d call hell to let old man Lucifer I’m gonna be late for dinner. Execution audience: My close friends Jimmy Boags and the Toohey brothers would be there because you can’t have a barbeque without beer. Last dream session:  Definitely out at Rocky’s with all the boys, […]

style // Feb 22, 2016
Words by stab
Reading Time: < 1 minute

Say your prayers Kalani Robb

Last phone call:
I’d call hell to let old man Lucifer I’m gonna be late for dinner.

Execution audience:
My close friends Jimmy Boags and the Toohey brothers would be there because you can’t have a barbeque without beer.

Last dream session: 
Definitely out at Rocky’s with all the boys, there’s too many to name but they would be there fucking around at Ronnie’s Bowl. Soon to be called Ronnie& Kalani’s Bowl after I’ve been fired to a crisp by the Sizzlin’ Sally up in the big house.

Last will and testament:
Shit! What gear? I ain’t got shit and all my boys already use all my shit like it was their own shit anyway, so no biggy there.

Last minute apologies:
Oh yeah, sorry Fox…NOT!!!

Last minute regret: 
Yep, I didn’t become World Champ so I could show the boys how to really spend up the skrilla*! And by the way I was the first to buy a Benz not Slater. Ha!

Last minute religion: 
Scientology? Kalanitology? Nah, just a little Jah!

Last meal:
Chocolate chip Haagen-Dazs for starters, main and dessert.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Stab Interview: Laura Enever On Her World Record Payday, Why Cloudbreak Bites Harder Than Shipsterns + The Terrors Of Live Commentary

"If you could sum up someone's career in a sentence, that's it – Got a…

May 5, 2024

Full Frame: “Mullet Lord” Frolics In The Fruits Of His Realm

Beloved Aussie coffee shop owner colludes with lip to brew steamy concoction.

May 5, 2024

Erin Brooks And Mikey McDonagh Summit Freshly Spawned Mountain Of Challenger Series Rankings

Perfect 10s, phallic polyurethane, and numerous benthic vortexes marked the Bonsoy Gold Coast Pro.

May 4, 2024

Paul Fisher Resurrects Iconic Dick Board, Inadvertently Saves The WSL

Surfing's gone soft? Take this blue pill.

May 3, 2024

2 Australian Surfers, 1 American Still Missing In Baja California, Mexico

Three suspects have been arrested, a truck was found burned, but the friends remain "missing".

May 2, 2024

Zipper Offcut: A Pacific Island Micro-Wedge

Chippa, Harry, Dion, a hazardous ramp, and a near fiberglass-vasectomy.

May 2, 2024

UNLOCKED: Chippa Wilson Stars In ‘Zipper’ — A Surf Film By Stab & Monster

Featuring Filipe Toledo, Harry Bryant, Bobby Martinez, Eithan Osborne, Taro Watanabe, and Dion Agius.

May 2, 2024

Is Nat Young’s 4.03 A Symbol Of Surf Judging Demise, Or A Harmless Scoring Aberration?

World champs, super coaches, WSL commentators and more sound off on the state of surf…

May 1, 2024

How Stretch And Nathan Fletcher SpaceX’d Surfboard Design Into The Future

“I brought the boards to Hawaii and everybody laughed at me. Everyone except Michael Ho…

Apr 30, 2024

Doug Silva Is The Skullet-Locked 12x World Party Champ Working Wonders For Seth Moniz’s Tour Trajectory

Here's how he uses EDM + storytelling to snap talent into 'infected alligators'.

Apr 30, 2024

Marti Paradisis On The New Shipsterns Safety Initiative + The Laziness Of Bandwagoning Swell Carnivals

Before calling Shipsterns Bluff and getting flexed, read this. 

Apr 28, 2024

Full Frame: A 15-Minute, One-Wave Pipe Session

"Oh shit, that was kind of nuts, I think I think I'm just gonna go…

Apr 27, 2024

Want Half-A-Brain? Keep Calling Helmets Lame

Kai Lenny surfs hideous Jaws + Mavs + Waimea, joins esteemed list of surfers to…

Apr 27, 2024

80 Men And 48 Women Enter The CS Gauntlet — Only 15 Will Survive

Your 2024 Challenger Series x Gold Coast Pro preview.

Apr 26, 2024

The Best Surfing I’ve Ever Seen: Nate Lawrence

Kolohe, Cola Bros, Luke Davis, Crane, and "the most magical 3 weeks ever had in…

Apr 25, 2024

Snapper To Return To The CT In 2025(!) + WSL Announces Season Wildcards

Next year is looking up. Here's what we know...

Apr 25, 2024

Kelly Slater Will Surf In Tahiti And Fiji CT Events — And He’s Bringing A Secret Weapon With Him

What's it like to coach an 11x champ? We asked Glenn "Micro" Hall.

Apr 24, 2024

Watch: A Masterclass In Belated Drops At The Teepee Capital Of The World

And the rest of the O’Neill team sticks the landing in Hawaii.

Apr 24, 2024
Advertisement