Gabriel Medina Leaves No Lip Un-Hit, No Man Un-Tackled

This post is likely to incite many “Stab is xenophobic!” claims from our well-meaning Brazilian fanbase, but before you gather your pitchforks and storm into our LA and/or Sydney-based headquarters, answer me one simple question: Can you name any professional surfer who, in the last five years, has had more documented on-wave collisions than Gabriel Medina?

Probably, no.

The simple fact is that Gabby is a non-penguin version of Tank Evans — broad chest, tattoos and all — and for some reason I can’t help but love him for it. He brings quite the dramatic flair and plays the villain exceptionally well in an otherwise flowery sport.

Long live Gabby the Punisher!