Snake's Unfiltered Finals Day Prognosis - Stab Mag
594 Views

Snake’s Unfiltered Finals Day Prognosis

“Whether you like the system or not, it’s exciting.”

elsewhere // Sep 6, 2023
Words by Holden Trnka
Reading Time: < 1 minute

Click here to watch some raw Lowers warm-ups, and here for Kelly’s take on the WSL judging criteria.

Jake ‘Snake’ Paterson deserves all the credit he gets.

The witty West Australian spent over a decade on the Dream Tour, finished #5 in the world twice, and lifted trophies at Pipe, J-Bay, and Sunset (x2).

This legacy laid the groundwork for extended stints as Quik Team Manager and CT coach — where he molded youngsters like Griffin Colapinto and won a World Title with Stephanie Gilmore. In the process, heavily documented through Snaketales, he connected with numerous elite surfers and built their unwavering trust.

Now, Snake owes his allegiance to no brand or surfer other than himself, meaning that he has little trouble speaking in a disarmingly unguarded way about the state of modern surfing. This freedom, paired with a remarkable surfing IQ, means that we tend to listen when Snake talks.

Click above for a handful of Finals Day nuances you probably hadn’t considered, fresh from the Snake’s mouth.

Betonline.ag Odds

Men’s Winner

Filipe Toledo at -165

Griffin Colapinto at +250

Ethan Ewing at +800

Jack Robinson at +1100

João Chianca at +1600

Women’s Winner

Carissa Moore at -130

Tyler Wright at +400

Caroline Marks at +450

Caitlin Simmers at +750

Molly Picklum at +1000

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Kelly Slater + Occy On Why The Returning World Champs Should Break Something

And why we’d love to see a Ryan Burch (or insert other psychedelic foam experiment)…

Nov 28, 2025

Roasted: Harry Bryant On The Edge Of A Typhoon In The East China Sea

Xi runs the state, Haz runs the rivermouth.

Nov 27, 2025

How To Order A Surfboard In 2025

Donald Brink, Chris Christenson, and Jon Pyzel on how not to piss off your shaper…

Nov 26, 2025

A New Rule For The 2026 CT Season Puts Carissa, Steph, + John John At An Immediate Disadvantage

The revamped CT format is gloriously cutthroat.

Nov 25, 2025

From The Indies Trader To Vela: How Boats Are Debunking Surfing’s “Crowded World” Narrative

Torren Martyn + the man who named Cloud 9 discuss the laziness of surf tourism…

Nov 23, 2025

“It’s A Gene Pool Of Cool, But It Comes With Every Bag Of Shit That Goes With It”

There’s a new Fletcher documentary you’ll probably want to watch.

Nov 23, 2025

Ikea Is Not A Surf Brand

Is surfing facing a ChatGPT epidemic?

Nov 21, 2025

EAST With Mikey February, Episode Three

Task: Find bluewater barrels in the USA... in summertime.

Nov 21, 2025

Did You Actually Think Gabby Medina Would Sit Out 2026?

The comeback tour just keeps getting bigger.

Nov 20, 2025

Yet Another World Champ Announces His Return To The 2026 World Tour

JJF is back. 

Nov 19, 2025

Steph Gilmore To Join Carissa Moore On 2026 Tour

13 World Titles rejoined the CT WhatsApp thread this past week. How will they fare?

Nov 18, 2025

A Brief History Of The Aerial ft. Bruce Irons, Christian & Nate Fletcher And More

Dylan Graves unearths the facts, the firsts, and the controversial debates shaping surfing's above the…

Nov 18, 2025

Who Has The Right To ‘Protect’ A Hidden Wave?

In surfing's new-age colonialism, everybody's right and everybody's wrong.

Nov 16, 2025

Watch Snapt 5: The Final Cut

After twenty-two years, this is Logan Dulien's biggest mic drop yet. Probably.

Nov 13, 2025

Guess Who’s Back

New mom Carissa Moore to make her Championship Tour return in 2026.

Nov 13, 2025

Where Is Our Mind?

Why we just filmed another 'Stab in the Dark'... before releasing Kelly.

Nov 12, 2025

The Greatest British Surf Conspiracy Of Our Time

Multiple bankruptcies, Russian oligarchs, environmental fugitives and a... wavepool?

Nov 9, 2025

Unlocked: Shark-Eyed Prince João Mendonça In ‘Same Same’

You won’t hear much from the young Portuguese surfer's mouth, but his SEOTY entry says…

Nov 9, 2025
Advertisement