Watch: Colin Moran In OCTOPUS: COLIN MORAN!

Did you know that the plural of octopus is not octopuses, nor octopi, but octopodes?

It isn’t. But it’s a common misconception among the type of person who likes to think they’re especially smart and trots out obscure facts to make themselves feel superior. I know, because I’m one of those people. I’ve been waving around that little bit of “look-how-smart-I-am” for years, like an ugly dog with a hunk of rotten garbage in his mouth.

I only learned I was wrong today, when I decided to double-check prior to scraping together a few words to accompany the above Colin ‘Goose’ Moran clip. Now I feel like an absolute fucking idiot. Burning with shame, filled with self-loathing, buoyed only by the fact that most people ignore the ridiculous nonsense that never ceases to dribble from my lips.

Just like you’re gonna ignore what I’ve written and only remember the video. It’s a top tier hunk of surf porn. Punk music, scary good surfing, juxtaposed with the fun little snippets that make all of Octopus’s videos enjoyable, even if they’ll probably get the brand in trouble one day.

To top it off, there’s not a single second of slo-mo palm trees waving in a tropical breeze.

I think I speak for us all when I say, “I’m really sick of that shit. I know it earned everyone a bunch of money back in 2005, but it’s way past time we move the fuck along and do something different.”