Stab Magazine | SUP Pilot Can't Stand Watching Malibu Go Unridden, Surfs For An Hour, Alone, Before Being Chased By The Coast Guard And Arrested

Live Now: Chapter 11 Mini-Documentary With Dane Reynolds

1362 Views

SUP Pilot Can’t Stand Watching Malibu Go Unridden, Surfs For An Hour, Alone, Before Being Chased By The Coast Guard And Arrested

“I’m going to be on TV!”

news // Apr 3, 2020
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

The old adage is wrong, not everyone will have 15 minutes of fame. 

To be truly seen in today’s world, one must either be incredibly entertaining, talented and/or smart; have a killer ass; or do something so flamboyantly reckless that people can’t help but watch. 

Today, an unidentified stand-up-paddler etched his name in Malibu’s history books (right next to Miki Dora and Tom Blake) for being the guy who “surfed” perfect, empty, First Point on the great lockdown swell of April 2020. 

After a highly comical water-based chase, the SUP pilot was apprehended by the Coast Guard and/or Malibu police.

According to Charlie Hoberman, a young photographer who happened to be shooting First Point after authorities cleared the Malibu lineup this morning: 

I just got back from taking photos at Surfrider Beach in Malibu. As it is one of the most crowded surf spots in the United States, it was amazing to see it completely empty due to public beach closures for COVID-19 protection. After shooting perfect 3-5 foot surf with hardly any wind (perfect conditions), a standup paddleboarder paddled from the southside of the Malibu Pier, and towards the surf break. There was a lifeguard boat and cops on the beach telling him to get out of the water, threatening him with a ticket. He refused to leave and surfed for about an hour and caught 20+ waves. He sorta teased the cops and lifeguards by pretending to go in but then going back out again to catch a few more. By the end, he made his way towards the pier to head back where he came from but then kept juking out the boats, teasing them some more. They were getting very pissed off and a police boat or swat boat (not sure) came to settle things. They yelled aggressively over the loudspeaker telling him he was going to jail. He still wouldn’t give up. A guy from the lifeguard boat jumped into the ocean and pulled him to shore. He then got arrested and the beach was cheering and hyping him up. He was smiling and stoked that he surfed 1st point Malibu all to himself and was saying stuff like “Im gonna be on the news baby!”

I know, I know—we should all follow the laws regarding (not) surfing during the pandemic, as they are designed to protect us and the rest of humanity. But damn, we’ve gotta give credit where credit’s due.

While we can’t fully condone the perpetrator’s behavior (mostly due to the fact that he was riding a SUP), we did find it entertaining enough to post it on our website. 

Here’s your fifteen minutes, pal. Enjoy it. 

We’ll update this story when we learn our anti-hero’s name and incarceration status. 

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Pittar’d And Feathered

Do the WSL judges deserve the internet's wrath? We asked the man of the hour.

Mar 28, 2024

Robbo, Pickles, And Tyler Wright Become The Underdogs Breakfast At Uninspiring Winkipop

The foreboding blade sharpens and inconsistent judging prevails on Day Two in Torquay.

Mar 27, 2024

“I Don’t Always Win Heats, But When I Do, I Try To Beat John John”

Slater shines and the axe begins its descent on Day 01 at Bells.

Mar 26, 2024

Back Against The Wall: The Ramzi Boukhiam Redemption

Morocco's first CT surfer on speaking six languages, having no coach, and snatching Fil Toledo's…

Mar 25, 2024

Will Kirra, Babies or JJF Stop a GOAT Winning at Bells?

Bluesky BOAG advice from a Superman specialist and former Trials winner.

Mar 25, 2024

Bells Preview: The WSL’s Victorian Sword Dancing Equinox Ritual

Will a Brazilian crack the Top 10 at Bells?

Mar 25, 2024

69 Shin Bones Later + the Anticlimactic State of Big Wave Record-Breaking

Lucas Chumbo might have surfed the biggest wave ever this year. But how will we…

Mar 23, 2024

Watch: ‘Fresh and Fried’ Ft the Quik Kids

How taxing is it to tackle the Gold Coast’s Triple Crown in a single day,…

Mar 23, 2024

The Popular Vote: The People’s Stab In The Dark With Kolohe Andino Champion

Which board looked best — to you —under Kolohe's talons?

Mar 22, 2024

João Chianca Opens Up About His Brain Injury, Rehabilitation, And Targeted Return To Competition  

"I don't just want to be the same surfer that I was. I don't even…

Mar 21, 2024

Six Key Learnings From Portugal

Three CT events in, what do we know? 

Mar 21, 2024

‘Zipper’ Is Going On Tour, Here’s Where You Can Watch It  

Dates, times + locations for the Venice, Encinitas, Sydney + Byron premieres.  

Mar 20, 2024

Dane Reynolds On His Future, His Past, And Chapter 11’s Raison D’être

Our 9-minute plunge into the collective psyche of Ventura's pillar(s).

Mar 20, 2024

From ‘Blue Ribbon Cross Country Runner’ to Vogue – How Steph Again Is Back With A Rip Curl Remix

Everything we know about the she-GOATs sponsorship boomerang.

Mar 18, 2024

Stab Interview: Darren Handley Explains Why You Can’t Buy The Winning Stab In The Dark Model

And his decades-long standoff with Slater.

Mar 17, 2024

Griff Embraces Portugal’s Eternal Time Loop To Vanquish Medina + Ewing, Defay Delays The Inevitable

A redeeming closing act at Supertubos.

Mar 16, 2024

The Secret Behind Lungi Slabb’s Inconceivable Greenmount Funnel

Six broken boards, one leaking forehead, and five days of Superbank mysticism.

Mar 16, 2024

Cheat Codes: A Million Miles Worth Of Travel Advice From Coco Ho

Hard-earned wisdom from more than 2,000 hours in the troposphere.

Mar 15, 2024
Advertisement