Stab Magazine | The Hottest Tips In Surfing

Live Now: How Surfers Get Paid — The Queens of Ascension


The Hottest Tips In Surfing

A catalog of wisdom that has nothing to do with technique.

style // Sep 10, 2017
Words by Stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

It was a long walk across the reef.

There were jagged chunks. Giant holes. Urchin fields. Stone fish, maybe? Eh. Maybe. After a few days of stumbling my way to the lineup, it started to look like I’d acquired some sort of foot leprosy. Then, just like that, a friend hit me with one of the hottest tips I’d ever heard.

Use a leash instead of reef booties.
Back to that intro — when it comes to reef booties, there is only one simple rule to follow: don’t wear them. At all. Ever. The hot tip my buddy bestowed upon me was to wrap your leash around the ball of your foot when trudging across reef. That way, you get to use one power foot with full confidence and you can pick your battles with the unprotected hoof. If you want, you can even keep part of a broken leash for your other foot and strap it around your ankle once you’re out the back. From a sustainability perspective, that’s the most eco-friendly way to stomp thriving coral reef systems into impotent chunks of rock that will be deserted of all life in a matter of a few years.

Stop wrestling your fins. 
Not all fin boxes were created equal. But all people were, so you can rub a little wax on the base of your fins to make up for a pesky box’s shortcomings.

Be warmer(er).
Got a cold suit? I got a hot tip. Wetsuits can be warmed by your motor vehicle. Just jam it under the leg vents with the heater on high on your way to the beach. If you have a van, squash it against where your engine heats the floor for a similar effect.

Park for free.
The people who administer parking tickets have already been bamboozled into becoming people who administer parking tickets for a career, so you might as well bamboozle them again by cheating the system. Pay the fee ten, maybe twenty times and keep all the stubs. Once you’ve got a stash, scatter them all across your dashboard and never pay again. Remember: it’s less about the $2.75 and more about the principle.

Cool your face.
Ever felt like your face was going to melt off or combust from all that noonday sun in a tropical lineup? Well, feel it no more. Stash a little SPF stick in your pocket and coat your face next time. Not only will your face stop melting, you’ll also get every wave (all of them) from that point forward — you think anybody is going to fuck with the psychopath who was just smearing chap stick all over their face in public? And hey, speaking of sunscreen, it’s great for protecting you from rash – don’t be shy, rub it on your inner thighs.

Don’t trip.
This one’s simple — pull your wetsuit over your ankle to prevent your leash from sliding around and tripping you up. It doesn’t do much, but it does something.

Stop giving money to strangers. 
Charging per board is a satanic ritual invented Joseph Stalin and kept alive through illuminati etc. The bag is already large and heavy — what’s the difference between two and four boards? Prevent them from knowing the truth with a zip tie, which you should always say was, in fact, your last. Basically, if you hate giving strangers your money then you will love zip ties.

Bonus hot board bag tip: they make pretty whatever beds.

Got any? Share them below. We can go tip for tip. Nothing weird about that!


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

Full Frame: His & Hers Tow Tango Somewhere In Aus

Date night with Imogen and Cortney Brown.

May 27, 2024

Top Two Women Axed Early, Three Join The 9+ Club, Kelly Reveals Reptile-Inspired Baby Name

Hint: it rhymes with Slater and could eat you (or a zebra).

May 26, 2024

The Stab Interview: 5x CT Winner, Budding Entrepreneur, And Stab High Invitee Julian Wilson

If you never retire, you can't call it a comeback.

May 25, 2024

The Best Surfing I’ve Ever Seen: Lachlan Mckinnon

How often does a filmer pay for the surfer's plane ticket?

May 25, 2024

Hurley Can Now Legally Rent A Car

A quarter-century in the surf game is no small feat.

May 24, 2024

Airs On Trees: Bosiny Cracked The High-Performance Wood Surfboard Code 

Feat. Paulownia wood reinforced with Kevlar, these boards are as light as PU and loaded with spring. 

May 23, 2024

What’s In A Wedge?

Enjoyable water movement, explained by an expert.

May 23, 2024

Watch: Tosh Tudor In ‘Tube Therapy’

The 19-year old offers prescriptive insights into Desert Point karma, backside tube poise, and Off-The-Wall…

May 23, 2024

Swell’s En Route, Slater’s Involved, Here Comes Teahupo’o… 

A Tahiti Pro preview.

May 22, 2024

Can Medina Overcome His CT Drought In Tahiti?

Tahurai Henry offers his picks for the SHISEIDO Tahiti Pro

May 21, 2024

The 35 Best Song Pairings In Surf Films, As Ranked By Dane Reynolds, Taylor Steele & You

From Noa Deane and Courtney Love, to Andy Irons and Coldplay, to Creed McTaggart and…

May 20, 2024

Is This The Most Cost Efficient Way To Noticeably Improve Your Surfing In A Single Month?

All you can eat for $1500 AUD at URBNSURF Melbourne.

May 20, 2024

Watch And Learn: How To Score A Solo Sesh At 8-Foot Teahupo’o With Leonardo Fioravanti

Skip lunch and gorge.

May 19, 2024

Full Frame: The Story Behind The Photo You’ve Seen 1,000 Times

A viral ménage à trois in Bali.

May 18, 2024

Meet The Man Who Runs Kelly Slater’s Burgeoning Surf Empire

The Stab Interview with Dylan Slater. 

May 18, 2024

How Surfers Get Paid: Season 2, Episode 4

80+ interviews later, it's time to "send out the chicks".

May 17, 2024

How To Get To Stab High Japan

BYO ligaments. 

May 16, 2024

CT Earlybirds, Tahitian Warlords, And Aspirational Teenagers Divide Spoils From “11 out of 10” Teahupo’o Blob

Eimeo Czermak, Balaram Stack, Liam O'Brien, Cannon Carr, and Ryan Miller divulge tales from the…

May 16, 2024